Dear Drunken Obnoxious Concertgoer:

Yes, you, one row up, three seats to the left. Thank you for continuing a long-standing concert tradition (you could call it a curse) of mine, to have some loud annoying alcoholic sitting in too close proximity trying mightily hard to ruin it for the rest of us. Guster, U2, Nickel Creek, Coldplay: You name the show, and you have been there. Like a demon from Biblical times, you can assume many forms, such as the drunken teenage girls in front of us at U2, or perhaps the husky middle aged woman wearing not-quite-enough clothing sitting nearby at Coldplay. Earlier tonight, at the fantastic Josh Rouse show, you were an older gentleman who found it extremely amusing to yell the word "watermelon" repeatedly between each song. I don't know why, unless your goal was to make everyone around you hate you. Alcohol makes you say strange things (though watermelon is a new one). And the way you were "dancing" with the wife/girlfriend/mistress. Somewhere between the dry heaves and grand mal seizure. Pretty, but like the opposite.
I do hope that I can enjoy concerts such as this when I reach your age. I bet I'm able to do it sober. Still, try as you may, it was a great show. Looking forward to seeing you next month at the Schermerhorn, in whatever form you may take.

Take care now,
Me