Antpocalypse Now

I came home this evening to find ants in my kitchen sink. This freaked me out a whole lot, for though there only about six, maybe eight ants to be seen, perhaps thousands of others had gotten the message that, for whatever reason, my kitchen might be the place to be. I talked to my neighbors and they had also recently had a problem - the things had just migrated on next door.
I immediately went to Kroger to buy the most lethal chemicals I could find. I found ant spray, ant traps, and these little spikes you put in the ground outside to wipe out the ant colony. My goal is for nothing less of an ant genocide. I want the ants to think of my kitchen like we think of Chernobyl - a hot zone to be left uninhabited for decades.
Its fortunate I don't have any pets, because once I was done spraying and baiting I don't think they would have survived. I probably should avoid the room for a few days myself, as I got a little lightheaded towards the end of the assault. A little collateral poisoning is a small price to pay, however. The ants must die.