Monday, September 19, 2005

List of the Week

Things, Other Than a Sluttily-Dressed Middle Aged Woman's Gigantic Butt at a Coldplay Concert, That Might Cause Blindness, But With Far Less Psychological Trauma

1. The sun
2. Lasers
3. A pack of rabid monkeys mistaking your eyeballs for a pair of juicy mangos
4. Sulfuric acid
5. Carelessly disregarding your wire mesh mask when facing an overenthusiastic and/or particularly ruthless fencing opponent
6. A BB gun
7. An overdose of viagra
8. Decapitation
9. Two precisely tossed hypodermic needles
10. The blackness of the outer reaches of hell, caused by the complete absence of God

9 Comments:

Blogger Katie said...

Is sluttily a word?

A red rider BB gun will cause blindness...you could shoot your eye out.

7:22 PM  
Blogger LB said...

Don't forget #11: Walking in on your parents.

3:38 PM  
Blogger Katie said...

Hey LB...thanks for goin' there.

4:04 PM  
Blogger LB said...

You're welcome! ;-)

4:09 PM  
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