Goodbye Pamela, Hello Emmylou

Wow, you just never know who might be reading your blog, like, say, the wonderful folks down at PETA. You see, apparently they read my earlier post complaining of a billboard featuring Pamela Anderson imploring me to avoid KFC because of their mistreatment of animals. To recap, hypnotic breasts aside, Ms. Anderson has done nothing to warrant her place as a moral or ethical authority. If I wanted celebrity ethical advice, at least give me a celebrity I might respect.
PETA heard my pleas, and God bless them, they answered. Driving home from work today I saw a new PETA billboard, same basic message (KFC of the devil, save the chickens), however, new celebrity spokesperson: Emmylou Harris. Emmylou does not have mesmerizing mammeries (that's a fun phrase to type). She is, however, one of my favorite musical artists, has a wonderful voice, and is a great songwriter. I very much respect her as an artist.
So now I can hold my head high and avoid KFC with pride. Emmylou told me to. I can hear her sing it to me:

Their chickens get debeakin'
So that Colonel you best be leavin'
PETA knows its true
So you just listen to Emmylou

Those hens die in such misery
Be they original or extra crispy
You know PETA says its true
So you just listen to Emmylou

Besides, there's much better fried chicken to be had around town (Prince's Hot Chicken Shack, anyone?). If only celebrities could be there for all of life's little problems, giving advice, dispensing wisdom, allowing me to bask in the warm glow of their omnipotence. What a wonderful world that would be.