Is It About Pie?

Favorite Things

2008-06-26T20:55:00.003-05:00

Radnor Lake has always been one of my favorite places in Nashville, but just recently for some reason I've started going around sunset for the first time, and its just wonderful. It is less crowded, its cooler, its quiet, and the light makes everything that much more beautiful. The wildlife count also goes up: Deer, beavers, coyotes, and a copperhead (I wasn't too excited about a copperhead three feet away). I've been going there to run but sometime soon I'll take the camera.

The Word of the Week...

2008-06-21T21:46:00.001-05:00

...is contentment.

Also, pics from Beach Week thrown into Flickr.

Indy Rated

2008-05-22T20:58:00.002-05:00

If Raiders of the Lost Ark = Perfection,
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom = Sentimental Favorite
and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade = Weakest Link, then

Raiders >>> Temple of Doom > Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull > Last Crusade

Victory and Horror

2008-05-18T12:46:00.006-05:00

This time, Shock and Awe worked. So far, there has not been one ant sighting in the kitchen. It is still a little hazardous to breathe in that room, but there are no signs of an ant insurgency. I'll hang my "Mission Accomplished" banner soon.

Completely unrelated to the ants, Saturday night we went to see the new Narnia movie, which is another post for another time. However, before the flick they showed what I firmly believe to be the worst preview of all time, all time being past present and future, for "Beverly Hills Chihuahua." Tagline: "50% Warrior. 50% Lover. %100 Chihuahua."

It's like the Taco Bell dog came back after however many years he's been gone and made himself a movie. The preview was an elaborate musical number performed by dozens of computer-generated chihuahuas. It was beyond bad. It was holy-crap-a-piece-of-my-soul-just-died bad. It was I-bet-this-makes-God-angry-bad. The reaction of the audience, which ranged from shocked silence to some actually hurtling insults at the screen, seemed similar to my own. After seeing this, I actually kind of want the terrorists to win. At least under their regime we wouldn't get movies like this.

Antpocalypse Now

2008-05-15T19:55:00.003-05:00

I came home this evening to find ants in my kitchen sink. This freaked me out a whole lot, for though there only about six, maybe eight ants to be seen, perhaps thousands of others had gotten the message that, for whatever reason, my kitchen might be the place to be. I talked to my neighbors and they had also recently had a problem - the things had just migrated on next door.
I immediately went to Kroger to buy the most lethal chemicals I could find. I found ant spray, ant traps, and these little spikes you put in the ground outside to wipe out the ant colony. My goal is for nothing less of an ant genocide. I want the ants to think of my kitchen like we think of Chernobyl - a hot zone to be left uninhabited for decades.
Its fortunate I don't have any pets, because once I was done spraying and baiting I don't think they would have survived. I probably should avoid the room for a few days myself, as I got a little lightheaded towards the end of the assault. A little collateral poisoning is a small price to pay, however. The ants must die.

20 Minutes O' Josh

2008-05-08T10:00:00.004-05:00

"If this was the Cold War we could keep each other warm..."

Though I was a fashionable two hours and fifteen minutes late to the show, I still got to hear a few of my favorites. Ritter, as always, put on an excellent show. This was my third time to see him, and its been interesting to watch his progression from the tiny 3rd and Lindsey, then moving on up to Exit/In, then graduating this time to the Belcourt. Is the Ryman his stop the next time through town? Maybe, but I'm kind of hoping he stays under the radar enough to keep to the smaller venues.

Randomisity

2008-05-03T16:23:00.004-05:00

-I hope gluttony is one of those sins that aren't really a sin (do those really exist?), because the last couple of nights I have been guilty of this one.

-My music tastes have been feeling retro recently, circa early 90's to be exact. REM, Counting Crows, and the B-52s have all released new discs recently, and they're all pretty good. REM had a trifecta of greatness (Green, Out of Time, and Automatic for the People) in the late 80's/early 90s, but its been downhill from there. Their new one, Accelerate, rescues them from the soft-rock purgatory they've been lost in recently. Counting Crows get the All-Time Favorite 1st Lyric From The 1st Song From The 1st Disc Award. Their new one, Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings is their first in several years. And the B-52s, with Funplex, sound pretty much exactly the same as they did when they were singing about the love shack. The retro mood continues, but in a much softer vein, as I've discovered the acoustic sessions by Jackson Browne. Beautiful bedtime music.

- There is a more literate post somewhere in my mind about my annoyance with the "Religious Right". I don't know the history or origins of the movement, and maybe it started in a better place than where I see it now, but once they gained enough influence and power, they, like most people who gain influence and power, became only interested in more power. I'm all about voting my conscience, but I can't find anywhere in the Bible where it is commanded/commissioned/suggested that we organize as a political movement. Imagine if the time and money and effort that we (a collective generic religious right we) spend politicizing were spent doing the things that, I don't know, Christ commissioned us to do. Loving one another more than ourselves. Acts of service. The Great Commission. We might not have to worry so much about the direction of the country. And, when the average non-churchgoing American's idea of a what a Christian is includes some visage of Pat Robertson or James Dobson, that's both maddening and sad.

-On the opposite end of the spectrum, how much do I love Tina Fey? About as much as Liz Lemon loves the Teamster Sandwich.

Officially

2008-04-30T21:29:00.003-05:00

My chip time for the Music City Half turned out to be 2:01:08. This is about 4 minutes slower than the Tom King, but given TK's flat course and my half-hearted training I'm happy with my time. It is 6 minutes faster than last year's time and 19 minutes faster than the first time I attempted the thing in 2006. Also, this year's running weather was probably the best of any so far.

Slacker, sort of

2008-04-26T14:47:00.004-05:00

It was really all Tom King's fault. I was progressing nicely in my overall marathon training, then around mile 12 of his half-marathon several weeks ago I did something to my left calf. I don't know if it was a sprain or a pull or whatever, I just know there was a lot of bright and amazing pain, and it was a few days before I could really walk again.
This caused me to miss a couple of weeks of training, and when I did start back again, I found I had lost the heart for it. Several times when I should have been running I did something else instead. The few times I did a long distance run/walk I had more leg pain, discomfort, and general thoughts of death (see prior post).
This caused a lot of indecision about what to do with the marathon, and I was indecisive right on through the online-registration cutoff for the Music City. When I missed the deadline the decision was made to just skip everything and sleep in. Sleeping in is never a bad call.
However, this decision did nothing for my overall indecision. I had trained, I just couldn't do nothing. So I decided that if I went to the pre-marathon expo and there were still slots open for the half-marathon, then that is what I would do. This made the sleep-in contingent happy, since most of the time the half-marathon, which is capped somewhere between 18 to 19,000 runners, is usually closed by expo time.
So Friday morning, the day before the race, I made it to the expo to find out that yes, the half-marathon was still open. More indecision. Sleeping in was making quite a case for itself. What idiot gets up at 6 in the morning to run around town when there are hours of sleep yet to be had? Surprisingly, there was still a part of me who wanted to try the full marathon, just to say that I completed one. However, the risks of permanently disability and death and the thought of some office worker coming across my corpse in Metrocenter on Monday morning put that idea down. In the end the half-marathon won out. I knew I could do it relatively easily, and it got bonus points for me being able to be back in bed by 9:30 to 10.
It was a good decision. I ended up completing the thing in almost exactly 2 hours, maybe a minute more. Not my best time, but not bad either given the half-hearted training schedule. The nap afterward was fantastic as well.

List(s) of the Week

2008-04-13T20:25:00.004-05:00

Things more boring than doing 20 miles on a treadmill:

Things I was thinking about after doing 20 miles on a treadmill:
1. Death
2. Being right with God
3. Dying
4. Cessation of life
5. More death

Post-Call Hike

2008-04-09T21:03:00.006-05:00

For a call weekend, last weekend was unusually good. Especially Sunday, which was a fantastic day. The good times lasted right on into Monday, which, being a post-call day, automatically sent it half-way to greatness. I had planned to do a Big Run on Monday in preparation for the upcoming marathon, but the weather was too darn perfect. So instead I headed out to Beaman Park, which is up in the hills in far northwestern Davidson County. This is a beautiful park-Warner without the crowds. It is very quiet and peaceful; it is like you are a hundred miles from the big city.

I spent the afternoon hiking, doing over ten miles in all, which was almost compensation for skipping the Big Run. I also took a few pictures to throw in the Flickr, and as a bonus received my first sunburn of the young season. Someday I'll remember to wear a hat.

Car Watch

2008-04-04T14:02:00.003-05:00

Finally got out of New Jersey on Wednesday, and spent Thursday night near Richmond, Virginia. Looked like it was heading straight for Nashville on I-40 but apparently is making a detour towards Atlanta. Currently near Greenville, South Carolina.

File Under: Things That Should Not Be

2008-04-02T21:25:00.004-05:00

Currently playing on the mix-tape in my head, an unholy combination of:

"The Way We Were" by Barbra Streisand; "The Right Stuff", by NKOTB; and the Indiana Jones theme.

I'm fairly certain that combining all these songs violates several laws of both ethics and nature.
Thanks, LB.

2008-03-31T21:33:00.001-05:00

Soho, Monday morning, in the rain.

The only picture I took the entire weekend. On the large view, with the camera phone image quality, it almost looks impressionistic.

Rain King

2008-03-17T19:32:00.002-05:00

Friday night I told friends that if I woke up on Saturday morning and it was pouring down rain then I was going back to sleep and abandoning plans to run the Tom King 1/2 Marathon. So Saturday morning when I awoke to pouring rain (plus bonus lightning and thunder) I went right back to bed. However, after lying there a few minutes I decided that I would regret it if I didn't run so I got up, got dressed, fashioned a nifty little poncho out of a garbage bag, and headed for the stadium. During the drive there was more lightning and thunder, which got me hopeful that they would cancel the thing due to safety reasons. However, more dedicated runners than myself apparently enjoy running in such weather, so I was disappointed to find that everything was going on as scheduled.
Fortunately it was mostly good news from there on out. Once I started running and got into my pace, the rain wasn't so bothersome. The course was flat (though kind of boring), however it was neat to run into LP Field at the end. The best part was that I beat my two hour goal, running the half-marathon with a chip time of 1 hour, 57 minutes, 13 seconds. That's a 8 minute, 57 second per mile pace. Though at the end I never thought I would be dry again, it was worth getting out of bed for. The bad news is I'm scheduled to run twice as far at the end of next month. We'll see how that goes.

2008-03-12T21:18:00.003-05:00

Ethiopian food
Delicious in my mouth
But things are getting ugly
The further it heads south

Our Day of Winter

2008-03-08T17:57:00.003-06:00

Overnight Nashville got its first real snow in the four winters that I have been here. There was probably 4 or 5 inches at my house. Though it was mostly gone by the end of the day, I did try to make the most of it. Pictures of Radnor, Warner, and sledding at Capitol Hill are over on the flickr.

Randomisity

2008-02-25T20:59:00.002-06:00

Oscars: For the first time in a long time I didn't watch the Academy Awards. I was out, and didn't get home until 9:30ish, and turned them on for only a few minutes before going to bed. Seems alot of people did this, as it had its lowest ratings in forever. However, most of the films and people that I wanted to win did win, so it was all good in the end.

The Ballad of Love and Hate: The Christmas CD that I force on friends every year as a cheap (yet thoughtful) holiday gift was not my own idea, but one I stole from my friend Andy down in Texas. I got his version of said gift in the mail a few weeks ago, and The Ballad of Love and Hate by the Avett Brothers is my favorite song on it. I'm not too familiar with their music, though I've seen them live a time or two. Both times were in a music festival sort of setting, where they played a short set. Both times also, though fiercely talented, they played loud, fast, and more than a little drunk (or drugged, possibly both). It was the musical equivalent of a runaway train - I was just waiting for some sort of spectacular crash. So it was to my amazement that they could produce such a tender, beautiful song such as this - one of the better analogies of unconditional love that you're likely to hear. I'm jealous it wasn't on my cd.

Joy: The best news of 2008 thus far. Why have I not heard of this before now?

Patience: I believe that God is trying to teach me patience. That is fine, I just wish He would hurry up and get the lesson over with.

Word of the Day: Bunghole

2008-02-17T20:48:00.004-06:00

Posted in the Flickr are some pictures from our Tims Ford "Cabining" weekend. Fun, relaxing weekend, featuring hiking, bluegrass, and a new appreciation for the word "bunghole". Link's to the right.

2008-02-14T21:41:00.002-06:00

P.S. Though Shawn Colvin was truly frightening, tonight's real Lost was far superior to dream Lost. One of my favorite twist endings yet, featuring my favorite Lost character. Perhaps he isn't so evil after all? No, he probably is.

Last Night's Dream

2008-02-13T21:46:00.002-06:00

Sometimes I am just a spectator in my dreams, as last night when I was basically just watching an episode of Lost, though a strange episode:

The scene is a phone conversation between the leader of the castaways, played here by George Clooney, and the leader of The Others, played here by Shawn Colvin. Apparently, I was coming in on the tail end of the scene. Shawn and the rest of the Others are planning a massive attack to wipe out the castaways, and George is begging her to spare them.
"Please," George begs Shawn, "Please, just spare the Siberian Huskies. Can you do that?"
The shot cuts to Shawn, who pauses, and then, in a way-beyond-creepy voice, hisses: "No!", and hangs up on him.
The next shot is of her doing some strange chant/dance, I assume to prepare for the attack. The camera then cuts back to George, who is dribbling a basketball in his kitchen, for some unknown reason. Then I woke up.

Woo-Hoo!

2008-02-10T16:07:00.000-06:00

Training update for the (maybe) marathon:

Yesterday I ran 14 miles in 2 hours, ten minutes. This translates into about a 9 minute, 20 second per mile pace. This makes me happy because not only is it the furthest I've ever run, but by far the best pace, knocking nearly 7 minutes off of last year's half-marathon time. Yesterday was a perfect day for outdoor running. I basically have a loop that starts out at Belmont, goes up Music Row to the roundabout and then to West End, down past Vandy, down Murphy Rd through Sylvan Park, back to West End past St. Thomas to Woodmont, then through some backroads to Green Hills Mall, more backroads over to Lipscomb, then back up Belmont. The plan is to each time add a little extra mileage onto the loop with the weekly big-run. If I can keep this up then maybe-marathon might move up to probably-marathon.

2008-02-06T21:05:00.000-06:00

The supercell thunderstorm started in northern Mississippi, and then marched in a straight line, pretty much from southwest to northeast. Amazingly, it held together for over 300 miles, from northern Mississippi, through Tennessee, across Nashville, and finally into southern Kentucky, dropping tornadoes off and on along the way. Though there was alot of damage southwest of Nashville, and massive damage (and several fatalities) northeast of town, for whatever reason the tornadoes stayed in the clouds as the storm passed over downtown.

Of course, being the idiot that I am, I'm outside watching the storm approach while listening to the newscast through the open front door. This is a really crappy picture that I took from the front porch of my house as the storm passed by. On the enlarged view, if you look closely (and use your imagination a bit), you can see the cloud coming down in a v-shape (just behind and to the left of the smokestack), which I took to be the wall cloud coming across downtown. Fortunately for myself and the others living in the city, not to mention the 14,000 people downtown in the arena for the Preds game, the fact that the tornadoes stayed aloft are a huge blessing. For those outside of town who have lost family (at last count, 31 dead in Tennessee alone) and property, God bless and you're in my prayers.

Obituary

2008-01-22T17:40:00.000-06:00

It is with a heavy heart that I announce the death of my iPod. He wasn't snazzy. In fact he was plain, workmanlike, first-generation. No fancy color screen, no video playing or photo sharing ability. Just music, when he did most every day. But the sad-iPod face kept appearing more and more often until one day (the other day, actually) it never went away. He travelled the world. He led a good life. Rest in peace, little buddy, you'll be missed.

Insert Joke Here

2008-01-10T20:26:00.001-06:00

Sign out front of the Taco Bell on West End:

"Try our new Fire in the Hole Burrito!"

No. A thousand times, no.

Randomisity

2008-01-06T19:04:00.001-06:00

-Another birthday has come and gone. It was good even though I was on call the actual big day. Most of my b-days are low-key, which I enjoy. As long as I get taken out to dinner I'm pretty happy, and it happened a couple of times. Free food = mission accomplished. I also get cards and calls from friends whom I have no idea when their birthday is. That makes them a better friend than me. I should work on that.

-We went hiking on Saturday and saw at least three alligators, though none, sadly, at life-threatening distances. The trail guide said if they opened their mouths and hissed then you were too close, and that was pretty much the end of you.

-My top 5 movies of 2007 (after giving the topic about 30 seconds of thought):

5. Into The Wild: A great movie about a stupid, selfish, arrogant kid. Makes the list pretty much because of any scene with Hal Holbrook. Could he have been any sadder?
4. Ratatouille: Pixar can do no wrong.
3. Michael Clayton: Some of the best acting seen in a movie this year.
2. Sweeney Todd: Didn't think a musical could be this intense, or scary, or very very graphic. I was wrong.
1. No Country For Old Men: Not a musical - in fact, there's basically no music at all - but still intense and scary. Best Coen Bros. movie since forever. I even loved the ending.

- With the writer's strike, there is really no reason to turn on my television until Thursday, January 31st, at 8 pm. When I'm at home I've been doing other obscure things like reading and practicing guitar and studying. Part of me hopes the strike goes on indefinitely; I probably don't need television as much as I think I do.

-Mayonnaise & Honey Creme Hair Dressing tastes like neither
mayonnaise nor honey. Just wanted to share.

Christmas

2007-12-18T20:22:00.001-06:00

My little tree might be the most generic Christmas tree in the world, but I still love it. Here are a couple of pictures so you might love it too. The top picture is from outside. In the second one, even the presents look nice. This is deceptive, since I took the picture from far enough away to hide the fact that my gift-wrapping skills remain at a 3rd grade level.

Merry Christmas.

2 Concerts

2007-12-03T22:15:00.000-06:00

Its been a good week for concertgoing, even if the two could not have been more different. First, last Thursday, was Nickel Creek's final (?) show at the Ryman. These are three unbelievably gifted musicians. It was one of the top two or three shows I've seen in that place. The encore, where they kept pulling musicians like Bela Fleck and Gillian Welch out onto the stage, became a collection of just stupidly talented people. The second encore, with just the three band members, no microphones, and a completely rapt audience, was beautiful. An amazing show.
The next day I flew out to Oregon to visit a friend out there, and on Saturday night, through a random sequences of events, we ended up seeing Van Halen in concert. Quite a different environment from Nickel Creek; the arena was filled with 40 and 50 year olds partying (and dressing) like it was 1985. Those expecting a sad little we-need-the-money nostalgia show were disappointed. Van Halen still knows how to rock. I had not been to a concert of that type since a Guns and Roses show back in high school. I'll confess I own none of their music, and my normal musical tastes are far from what they play. However, it was still an awesome show, well worth the hearing loss.

Fun random moment of the weekend: Earlier on Saturday, my friend J and I were walking down the sidewalk in downtown Portland, discussing whether or not to pursue tickets to the show. As we were walking a little lady passed us and overheard our conversation. Turns out that she was with the tour, and was the teacher for Wolfgang Van Halen (the 16-year-old son of Eddie Van Halen who is also the bassist on this tour). We talked about the tour, the band, and her job as a celebrity teacher (she was also on the set of Little Miss Sunshine, being the tutor of Abigail Breslin). A nice lady, however she couldn't score us free tickets to the show: Apparently the band is stingy and she had to pay for her own tickets when her family came to see the show.

30 Rock vs The Office

2007-11-20T14:58:00.000-06:00

Though I still love The Office, somewhere between "Werewolf Bar Mitzvah" and the Lifetime movie: "A Dog Took My Face, and Gave Me A Better Face To Change The World: The Celeste Cunningham Story" 30 Rock became the funniest show on TV.

Marathon?

2007-11-12T19:23:00.000-06:00

So, it is a little over six months until the Country Music Marathon, and I haven't yet talked myself out of participating. The last couple of years I've done the half, and the course for the full and the half marathon is the same up to about mile 11 or so. At that point the half turns right onto Jefferson while the full keeps going on up 8th. Both times at that split my one thought has been Thank you Lord that I'm not doing the full marathon, and it has been that memory that has dissuaded me from attempting the full.
However, recently I've been on an exercise kick, and have gotten into pretty good shape. My current regiment is doing some sort of circuit training mess four or five days a week and then a long run on Sunday afternoon. My first long run was 5.5 miles, the next Sunday 7.5, the next 11, and yesterday was over 12.5 miles in under two hours. The good news is that the mileage and the pace keep improving, and the bonus news is that I've actually lost some weight, which is quite miraculous considering I could live on a diet of fried cheese and pasta if I could. The not so good news is that 12.5 miles is still only halfway there, and though I made it to Life Group and dinner what I really wanted to do last night was to go home and die.
Oh well, it is still six months away, so lots of time to decide. I currently have two goals. One is to complete the marathon while there are still officials present at the finish line to mark time. The second is to still be alive later in the day. If I can keep up the exercise through the cold months I'll definitely try. Maybe.

A Disco Demolition

2007-11-06T21:25:00.000-06:00

The other day I was running on a treadmill. When I'm running on a treadmill, in an effort to combat the boredom, my mind wanders in an effort to distract and to waste time. Usually it plays a song. This time, however, it went way back in the vault and played the following chorus, over and over:

So watch out! Watch out for Goofy!
Watch out for Goofy
He's a disco demolition.
Watch out! Watch out for Goofy!
Watch out for Goofy
We love him but he just can't dance!

Yes, it is that immortal disco classic, "Watch Out For Goofy", from the timeless album Disco Mickey Mouse (I included the exclamation points because the singer was very adamant about the threat of a dancing Goofy). Unfortunately, since the rhythm of the song matched the pace of the treadmill, the chorus was repeated over and over, until even days later I find myself singing it under my breath. This album (for back then, it was an album) came out in 1979, and, as far as I can tell, is out of print and unavailable online. Which is sad because I actually thought about downloading it (this, in turn, is also sad). I also couldn't find any lyrics anywhere, and since I can only remember that stupid chorus, that is what I'm stuck with. Even now as I'm typing, I'm tempted to sing it to myself. It is just that catchy.

Who knew?

2007-10-26T18:21:00.000-05:00

Dunder-Mifflin has a Nashville branch. Too bad their commercial was so lame.

North

2007-10-20T11:36:00.000-05:00

Due to an uneventful call night, I was finally able to get my pictures from my recent joyride from Anchorage to Seattle onto my Flickr page. About 530 pictures were whittled down to 180. They are in chronological order as I head south. Link's to the right. Enjoy.

2007-09-27T22:52:00.000-05:00

Hiking along the Savage River, Denali National Park.

Approaching the summit of Mt. McKinley.

Haines, Alaska.

Along the Alaska Highway.

Near Jasper National Park, British Columbia.

Dawson Falls, British Columbia.

Drunken Eskimos

2007-09-22T18:19:00.000-05:00

Woke up at 3:30 am last night to hear this conversation outside my motel room door:

Girl voice (screaming): "Robert! I'm your girlfriend! Don't leave!"
Robert (screaming, with slurred speech): "F--- you! I'm leaving!"
Girl voice (screaming): "Robert! I'm your girlfriend! Don't leave!"
Robert (screaming, with slurred speech): "F--- you! I'm leaving!"

Repeat above conversation for about 20 minutes.

Awesome.

5 Cool Things About Alaska, Part 1

2007-09-21T00:02:00.000-05:00

1. As we descended into Anchorage, the captain announced "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Alaska" just as we broke through the clouds. Below, endless snowcapped mountains and glaciers. Absolutely beautiful.
2. The glacier/wildlife cruise off the southern coast. Though the seas were extremely rough (a shout out goes here for some anti-seasick med called Bonine; it worked great), and I was drenched more than once by a rouge wave, the weather was perfect and the scenery, in what would become a running theme, was beautiful. We saw a (rumored) whale, seals, sea lions, and, strangely, one mountain goat.
3. The sightseeing flight around the summit of Mt. McKinley. There was once or twice when the pilot got to talking or pointed out something to the side of the plane that I started to fear we would fly right into a cliff wall, but other than that it was wonderful. Good thing I went, too, since the clouds kept the massive mountain obscured from the ground.
4. Small world moments in a vast state. A couple of girls who were on the glacier cruise were also on the sightseeing flight two days later. Then I ran into another girl from the boat later on at the hotel in Denali National Park.
5. Today I was driving a straight level stretch of highway. I leaned over to the passenger side to mess with the iPod and happened to look out the passeneger window to see a bald eagle flying at eye level, perhaps 20 to 30 feet from the car. It followed me, just like that, for over a mile.

And one disappointment: Denali National Park. If you've ever been to Yellowstone you know that from the moment you enter the park all kinds of wildlife get thrown at you. You can't go ten feet without smacking into some bison/elk/bear/whatever. This is what I thought Denali would be like, some sort of wildlife jamboree. Though the scenery and the hiking and such were great, there was no wildlife to be seen, save a small family of jackrabbits that came into the clearing to feed. "Where are your predators?" I asked them. "Why isn't something coming to eat you?" Sadly, it was not to be.

Randomisity

2007-09-07T18:03:00.000-05:00

1. The Josh Ritter CD recommended a couple of posts back is fantastic. The happy/sad combo of track #3 (Right Moves) and #4 (The Temptation of Adam) are two of my favorites songs this year. The Lyle Lovett CD is also very good, but not as Large Bandish as I was expecting. I was also disappointed about the lack of Francine Reed.

2. I'm still not very good at kickball. Or basketball. Or the Chili-Chili-Clap-Clap-Chili-Clap-Crap-Crap Game.

3. Larry Craig might be one of the stupidest people I have ever heard of. Especially when he flashed his Senate I.D. badge under the bathroom stool. Perhaps he thought that would get him some government employee discount, or an upgrade to some premium package.

4. The next time I'm in an airport bathroom I shall sit perfectly still.

5. The other day at work I had a patient that weighted over 500 pounds. That would be a quarter of a ton. Or the weight of nearly 3.5 mes. Later in the day a very simple, routine procedure suddenly became anything but. Not a good day at work.

6. A week from now I'll be on vacation so it gets better.

7. Last night I dreamed I was watching an episode of According to Jim. What made the dream strange was that the episode was absolutely hilarious.

8. There is a bunch of uncertainty going around right now. That's not necessarily a bad thing, or a good thing. It just is.

Experimental Cooking Night...

2007-08-25T21:21:00.001-05:00

...in which I attempt to cook a dish that I never before have attempted. This, in actuality, would be most dishes. However, this evening it was cedar plank salmon cooked out on the grill. I googled several sources to investigate technique and cooking times, then went and got some wild-caught Alaskan salmon and the necessary cedar plank.
I soaked said plank in water three to four hours, washed the salmon, and rubbed it down with olive oil, garlic salt, pepper, and basil, and fired up the grill.
So far, so good.
Then came the fires.
The first one was minor, discovered as I went to place the salmon on the plank. It was easily extinguished, blackening just the underside of the plank. Once out I put the salmon on, turned the heat down low (per instructions), and let the thing cook.
My error, it turns out, was not checking the grill more often. I assumed, glancing out the window to the grill, that all was well. Well, you know was assuming does. As an old, hated, boss once told me: "Assuming makes an ass of you and me." Get it? He said this with a solemnity that suggests this nugget was actually one of the biblical proverbs. I really didn't like him.
Anyway, I go out with my dinner plate to the patio to the sweet smell of smoking cedar and open the grill. Anyone who's watched Backdraft knows what happens when a little, air starved flame meets an inflow of oxygen. That's right: Fire aplenty.
The bad news was the underbelly of the plank was completely ablaze. The good news was the salmon filet was sitting pretty on top and looking mighty delicious.
Another error, in hindsight, was probably the lack of utensils in dealing with the situation. I basically had two salad forks in which to rescue my dinner from its flaming prison. Salmon, when properly cooked (and it was) is very flaky. It also doesn't want to come cleanly off the cedar plank. Both of these facts were problems.
In the end I am happy to report that most of the filet made it onto my plate while I only suffered a few first degree burns. Some of the salmon was lost in the depths of the grill to the blaze, and some fell to the ground, but I did end up with most of it.

The verdict: Though what ended up on the plate looked like it had been mangled by a cat, it tasted great. Taste: A. Presentation: D-. Bonus: Three days later my garage still smells of burnt cedar, which is actually a pleasant smell.

Happy Times

2007-08-21T18:16:00.001-05:00

Out today:

Out next Tuesday:

Buy them both.

West, Again

2007-08-14T19:23:00.000-05:00

Though I complained in my last post about the unbearable heat, I got to spend all of last week out in Colorado, where temperatures were much nicer (80's during the day, as low as 40's at night). The official reason for the trip was to attend a work convention. However, in reality it was much more about seeing friends from graduate school and spending time in the high country. Pictures from the trip can be seen here, in my flickr account. As before, they are more or less in chronological order.

Stupid Hot

2007-08-14T18:51:00.000-05:00

There's a line from a Ryan Adams song that goes: "Tennessee sucks, in the summer." Its also an apt description of my feelings at the moment, as today is like the 430th day in a row to hit 100 degrees. I'm ready for autumn.

Watch Listen Read

2007-07-20T17:55:00.000-05:00

Watch: Pan's Labyrinth. Out on DVD, this is the best movie of the year by a country mile. Set in fascist Spain at the end of World War II, it is the story of a little girl who is travelling with her mother deep into rebel territory to meet her new stepfather, a cruel and sadistic Spanish general. Once there, she learns she might also be the lost princess of a fantastical underworld kingdom, and must complete three tasks to prove her right to the throne. Though the fantasy sounds like a kid's tale, the collision of her increasingly dangerous fantasy world with her infinitely dangerous real world is nothing but for adults. Thrilling, violent, and in turn both beautiful and horribly sad.

Listen: Cigarettes and Gasoline, by Emerson Hart. This guy was once the lead singer of the 90's alternative/rock group Tonic. He now lives here in Nashville and this is his first solo disc. A great lyricist, my favorite song is the wistful and neatly named "Green Hills Race For California."

Read: Harry Potter, of course. The media blackout starts tonight and lasts until the book is read. However, the best book I've read in awhile was Cormac McCarthy's The Road. Set some years after some unnamed holocaust has destroyed America, the book concerns a father and his young son, walking south towards the coast, trying to outrun winter, trying to stay alive. A brutal book, and at some times a tough read. However, it is his descriptions of the father's fierce love for his son, in the face of horrible odds, that makes parts of this book so beautiful, and ultimately heartbreaking. This was an Oprah Book Club selection, but don't let that dissuade you.

West

2007-06-25T20:14:00.001-05:00

A few weeks ago I got to spend a couple of weeks out west. The first week, when we were mostly in Yosemite National Park, is high up in the rankings of best vacation ever. The second week I headed east across Nevada, Utah, and Colorado.
One of the things about a digital camera is that you take a whole bunch more pictures than with the old-school kind. I whittled the 450+ pictures down to my favorite 110 and put them in this flickr account. They pretty much run in chronological order. Hope you enjoy them.

TV Roundup

2007-05-23T23:10:00.000-05:00

Warning!!! Spoilers if you haven't watched!!! (Why haven't you watched?)

The Office

Best moments from the season finale:
1. Michael: "Your advice was good, but Jan's was bigger."
2. Creed: "Swing low, sweet chariot."
3. Stanley: "The same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns."
4. Pam's expression of surprise and happiness at the end.
5. Ryan in the final scene.

The Sopranos

Not sure how many others in this tiny tiny blogosphere watch this show, but I'm kind of sad there are only a couple of episodes left. Very harsh, very complex drama, and I love the character of Tony Soprano. The scene in Sunday night's episode where he has just saved his son from a botched suicide attempt in the backyard pool was completely heartbreaking and so emotional it was hard to watch. Later on, he completely beats the crap out of another mobster for crassly hitting on his daughter. Also painful to watch, but in a different sort of way (the poor guy's jaw - ouch!). James Gandolfini is just a terrific terrific actor. I can't wait to see how the show ends, but I'm pretty sure no one comes out happy.

Scrubs

Unfortunately, this show's a bit past its prime. However, two hugely random and absurd (so absurd they won't be funny typed) scenes made me laugh hard (loud, annoying laughter with tears). One involved the Janitor and his conversation with a goldfish he was holding in a bowl. The second involved Dr. Kelso being swept off his feet by an Asian woman as a Vietnamese-language "Up Where We Belong" played in the background. See? Typed out, not very funny. But onscreen: beyond hilarious.

Lost

Wow. If you're one of those who strayed away from this show during the first half Others-torture-Kate/Jack/Sawyer/-every-weekathon and haven't been watching, well, basically you're a loser. The second half of the season, especially the half dozen or so episodes leading up to the finale, make this show simply the best thing on tv, by a large margin. The writing, acting, the whole mythology, nothing else comes close. I was kind of wondering, up until the last five minutes of the finale, how they would stretch it out over three more seasons, but now I'm no longer worried that the show will devolve into X-Files style meaningless. A few thoughts about the finale:
1. If this was really not a Jack flashback, but rather a flashforward, how is Jack's father still alive? The use of a Razr phone suggests it was the future (the show is set in 2004). However, with this whole alternate universe thing... Also, what happens to Jack to make him so desperate to go back?
2. Didn't Charlie have enough time to close the door from the other side? Cool death, anyway. I shall miss the hobbit.
3. Now I know that ghosts can go through puberty just like real boys. Walt done found him some testosterone.
4. Crazy John Locke. What are you up to?
5. Yeah for Hurley saving the day when everyone thought he'd be a liability.
6. I think Ben is right. The people coming to the island are very bad.
7. The obvious question: Who's in the casket, and what significance is there to it?
8. I hate that I have to wait until February to get answers. Well, probably not answers, but more questions. Still, what a great show.

Poor Judgment Indeed

2007-05-13T21:43:00.000-05:00

This here is the craziest thing I've heard of in quite a while. If I were a parent of one of those kids I would be more than a little upset. What were they thinking?

2 Questions

2007-05-10T21:46:00.000-05:00

1. Did "Jacob" look just a little like Locke?
2. What is going on with this show?

Improved

2007-04-28T15:27:00.000-05:00

Reasons this year's Country Music 1/2 Marathon was better than last year's:

1. Last year's finishing time: 2 hours, 20 minutes. This year's finishing time (unofficially): 2 hours, 7 minutes.
2. Last year: Had to stop running and start walking around mile 11 for fear of death. This year: ran the whole thing, didn't feel so bad at the end.
3. Last year: Bloody nipples. This year: Not so much.

Music 2007 (thus far)

2007-04-23T22:02:00.000-05:00

2007 has been an unusual year so far, music-wise. There has been a succession of releases from artists that I have been fans of, in some cases, for many, many years. Norah Jones, Patty Griffin, Lucinda Williams, Mary Chapin-Carpenter, and Alison Krauss all popped out discs within a few weeks of each other, and thus have consumed the majority of my music-listening time. Of the five, give the gold star to Patty; that's a pretty amazing disc. Sadly, all five of those discs are pretty mellow, which was nice for winter, but I need some peppier music for summer.

Best surprise: Barenaked Ladies: Barenaked Ladies Are Me. A fan of their earlier work, I had kind of written them off a disc or two ago. This one was very good.

New music: She's Spanish, I'm American; Dolorean; Peter Bradley Adams; the 2-disc compilation The Other Side: Songs From East Nashville; Sam and Ruby

Bedtime song of the week: Alejandro Escovedo's cover of "I Wish I Was Your Mother". Set to just an acoustic guitar and a string quartet, this beautiful song has some of either the saddest or creepiest lyrics I've heard in awhile. I can't decide which.

Concert ecstasy : Norah Jones on Thursday, Patty Griffin next Tuesday, both at the Ryman. I'm stocking up my happy place. I don't know what that sentence means.

Two Hours, Eleven Minutes

2007-04-17T21:00:00.000-05:00

That was the time between the first 9-11 call to police about shots being fired and the first warning sent out to faculty and students, via e-mail, that a gunman might be loose on campus at Virginia Tech. A little over twenty minutes later 31 more people are shot to death in a educational building across campus.
I realize that this is a big campus (at 26,000 students, 10,000 more than live in my hometown), and that hindsight is 20/20, but there seems to have been some sort of communication breakdown. Should they have locked down the campus earlier? Perhaps some sort of public address system that wasn't e-mail? What was Cho Seung-Hui doing during that time? Why weren't his behavioral warning signs better investigated? (For some of Seung-Hui's literary work - he was an English major, but his dramatic skills seemed lacking - click here).
Sadly, everyone is shocked and outraged, just like the last school shooting (the Amish schoolhouse), and the one before that, and the one before that. And our underlying culture of violence hasn't changed, and probably won't. Personally, I'll still like a good violent movie, say Kill Bill, as much next week as I did last week. An Italian newspaper called the Virginia Tech shooting "as American as apple pie.", and they're right. Though those closest to the tragedy will never forget, for the rest of us it will fade into collective memory, so we can shocked and outraged anew when the next shootings come along.

Thank You For Being A Friend

2007-03-29T21:33:00.000-05:00

So, the other night I was at home alone, standing over the stove cooking dinner, when under my breath, I starting singing the theme song to the "Golden Girls". This was disturbing on several levels. The first of which was I was at least two times through it before I realized: Hey, are you really singing the theme to the Golden Girls? Secondly, I knew every single word. Profoundly distressed, I left dinner on the stove and went and sat for awhile in my Shame Closet.

Goodbye Winter

2007-03-03T13:03:00.000-06:00

A few of signs of spring:

1. Daylight savings time begins next Sunday, March 12.
2. No parking spaces open at the base of Warner Parks.
3. School is let out early due to tornado watches rather than for a random, menacing snowflake.
4. The crack house on the corner has undergone spring cleaning and has removed most of the trash and appliances from the yard (sadly, the duct tape on the windows remain).
5. Bobbie's Diary Dip opens for the season tomorrow.

Happy days.

No Peeing In The Pool

2007-02-19T21:32:00.000-06:00

So I read an article about this guy, a gentleman who already has swum the length of the Mississippi and the Yangtze Rivers, and is now attempting to swim the length of the Amazon, 3,745 miles in 70 days.
Apparently swimming in the Amazon has its share of dangers, including alligators, snakes, piranhas, and a continuous tidal surge where the outgoing river meets the incoming Atlantic that could drown you instantly. Swimming during the day avoids most alligators and snakes, and the boats that will accompany him downstream will be equipped with buckets of blood and chum to distract the pirhanas. However, these dangers seem like child's play compared to a fish I had never heard of, the candiru.
Here's a picture of the fella, apparently in the same family as a catfish.

The fun thing about the candiru is that they are parasitic, feeding on the blood of other fishes. However, humans are a tasty target as well, according to this Wikipedia article, parts of which are reproduced below:

The candiru...is attracted to (human) urine or blood...and will swim into an orifice (candiru are small, any orifice will do)...(Once well inside) it then erects its spine (to anchor itself) and begins to feed on the blood and body tissue...The candiru is then almost impossible to remove without surgery. Most often infection causes shock and death in the victim before it can be removed.

Huzzah for nature. I hope you enjoy the enlightenment.

For Katie

2007-01-28T22:25:00.000-06:00

aka: The Lamest Post Ever

What's a sea creature's favorite country star?

Whalein' Jennings!

Thank you very much.

Dear Drunken Obnoxious Concertgoer:

2007-01-18T23:07:00.000-06:00

Yes, you, one row up, three seats to the left. Thank you for continuing a long-standing concert tradition (you could call it a curse) of mine, to have some loud annoying alcoholic sitting in too close proximity trying mightily hard to ruin it for the rest of us. Guster, U2, Nickel Creek, Coldplay: You name the show, and you have been there. Like a demon from Biblical times, you can assume many forms, such as the drunken teenage girls in front of us at U2, or perhaps the husky middle aged woman wearing not-quite-enough clothing sitting nearby at Coldplay. Earlier tonight, at the fantastic Josh Rouse show, you were an older gentleman who found it extremely amusing to yell the word "watermelon" repeatedly between each song. I don't know why, unless your goal was to make everyone around you hate you. Alcohol makes you say strange things (though watermelon is a new one). And the way you were "dancing" with the wife/girlfriend/mistress. Somewhere between the dry heaves and grand mal seizure. Pretty, but like the opposite.
I do hope that I can enjoy concerts such as this when I reach your age. I bet I'm able to do it sober. Still, try as you may, it was a great show. Looking forward to seeing you next month at the Schermerhorn, in whatever form you may take.

Take care now,
Me

Tag! I'm It

2007-01-11T22:01:00.000-06:00

Feel proud FabricSnob, and hold your head high. For you I have made an exception, and have done something I have never done before: Respond to a tag. I have always ignored them, seeing them as the blog-equivalent to a chain e-mail. But for you (and because I have no other ideas to post), an exception has been made. And it will never be made again. Bask in the glory.

3 Things:
That scare me: High-ceilinged rooms (altocelarophobia ), air turbulence, Audition.
People who make me laugh: Kate, my friends, myself.
I hate: People who force things up their nether regions which forces me to get up in the middle of the night, leave my warm secure house, drive to work, listen to their lame lame excuses, and then help them get them out; reality television; most every other driver on the road.
I don't understand: Vegetarians, calculus, the Middle East.
I'm doing right now: Typing this post (duh), drinking the day's only Coke/Pepsi, enjoying the skyline.
I want to do before I die: See all 7 continents, raise a family, write at something above a hobby level.
I can't do: Sit cross-legged (Indian-style for the politically incorrect), dance with anything remotely resembling rhythm, remember people's names.
I think you should listen to: As much live music as possible, the Bible (thanks Captain Obvious), Lyle Lovett, especially Joshua Judges Ruth.
You shouldn't listen to: Most politicians (left or right wing), most if not all of commercial radio, the little voice of doubt in your head.
I'd like to learn: To not be so restless, the guitar, to enjoy the moment and not keep looking ahead.
Favorite foods: Anything Italian, good Texas BBQ, steak.
Beverages: Pepsi (Coke is a close second, but still second), chocolate milk, more Pepsi.
Shows I watched as a kid: Dukes of Hazzard, classic Looney Tunes, St. Elsewhere (1st adult show that I was into).

I'm tagging: No one. The madness ends here.

Hmmmm...Music 2006

2006-12-27T20:45:00.000-06:00

Every year for the past few years now I have compiled my favorite songs of the year onto a cd and given them to friends for Christmas. I have found this to be a fun, personalized, and cheap gift. Unfortunately, there isn't enough room on the cd jacket to go into why I like all these songs, so I'm going to to that here. These are all songs that I enjoyed most throughout 2006 (though not necessarily released then):

1. Roly-Poly, Little Willies, from The Little Willies: Norah Jones sings. I go to my happy place. That is all.
2. Love From A Scar, Will Hoge, from The Man Who Killed Love: Hoge is a Nashville guy, and I was introduced to his music through some friends who are fans (understatement) of his. Big horns, guitars, gospelly back up singers. Good stuff.
3. This Is Us, Emmylou Harris + Mark Knopfler, from All The Roadrunning: Not a Nashville guy, but a Nashville girl. This is one of my favorite discs of the year. Their vocal styles and sensibilities mesh perfectly together. Good solid fortifying music.
4. All That Matters, Todd Snider, from The Devil You Know: Another Nashville guy. Originally the Snider song pick was to be "Sunshine", from the earlier excellent East Nashville Skyline, a neat little ditty about a botched suicide. Then "All That Matters" came in at the end of the year and beat it out. A nice, simple love song.
5. Quiet Town, Josh Rouse, from Subtitulo: Still considered a Nashville guy, though he no longer lives here. This song reflects his new homeland, Spain. Also contains the only whistling solo in the list.
6. The Captain, Guster, from Ganging Up On The Sun: 1/4 of the band's from Nashville, continuing a theme. Once or twice a year a disc comes out where I love every single song, and Ganging was one of them. Bonus points for a great Ryman concert.
7. The Funnest Game, Katharine Whalen, from Dirty Little Secret: There are 3 primary ways I discover new music. One, where this song came from, is via Paste Magazine, a tragically hip music magazine that sends a cd sampler with each issue. Whalen was formerly with the Squirrel Nut Zippers. It seems with all the dischordant horns and the driving percussion that the song is about the go off the tracks.
8. Casimir Pulaski Day, Sufjan Stevens, from Come On Feel The Illinoise!: I don't care much for Stevens in large doses, but individual songs, like this one, are brilliant. This one concerns a teenage crush, bone cancer, Christian faith, and doubt, and its my nomination for saddest song of the year.
9. Mindy Smith, Tennessee, Long Island Shores: Happy: We got to play with Mindy Smith's dog for quite awhile at a music festival last autumn. Sad: It was old and smelled. Happy: I always had a little celebrity crush on Mindy. Sad: Up close, she is sickly sickly thin (and this day more than a little drunk), so the dream died. Happy: This is a beautiful simple song about my adopted home state. Bonus points for the lyric: "Your daytime sings like Cash and Patsy Cline," my second favorite lyric of the year.
10. Three More Days, Ray LaMontagne, from Til The Sun Turns Black: Another disc where I liked most every song, which balances out his breathtakingly whiny meltdown at the Ryman last summer.
11. I Don't Feel Like Dancin', The Scissor Sisters, from Ta-Dah!: The guilty pleasure song of the set. Listening to it makes me not want to be on a dance floor, but a roller-skating rink, complete with disco ball and strobe lights.
12. Beautiful Son, Without Gravity, from Tenderfoot: The second way to find new music: surfing through the wonderful world of iTunes. This is an achingly beautiful song from an Americana band from Iceland.
13. Seems Like You're Gonna Take Me Back, Solomon Burke, from Nashville: Soul legend Burke came to Buddy Miller's living room here in Nashville (hence the cd name), holed up with Miller, Dolly Parton, Emmylou, Patty Griffin, and others, and made this terrific disc.
14. Turn Out The Light, The New Amsterdams, from Story Like A Scar: Third new way to find new music, off of the satellite. Otherwise, I don't have anything to say about this one, other than I like it.
15. Conventional Wisdom, Built To Spill, from You In Reverse: Another Paste find. The cd version of this song is all this plus a five minute guitar solo, way too long to fit on this disc.
16. If Its Just For Today, Allison Moorer, from Getting Somewhere: Shared a plane last summer with her and her husband Steve Earle (and a bunch of anonymous strangers). She is way too hot for him. Seriously.
17. Thank You, Glen Phillips, from Mr. Lemons: The former lead singer of Toad The Wet Sprocket does a little gospel smackdown.
18. Bisbee Blue, Calexico, from Garden Ruin: I'm 18 songs in and tired of thinking stuff up. Good song. Good cd. Third and final song on the disc to use a banjo. Strangely, none of the banjo pickin' comes from a song from a Nashville artist.
19. Steady As She Goes, The Ranconteurs, from Broken Boy Soldiers: More Nashville folk. Lots of distorted guitars and 70's style synth.
20. Chasing Cars, Snow Patrol, from Eyes Open: Yes, its a hugely sappy song. Yes, you could call the lyrics inane and not get an argument. No, I don't care what you think. I would love to hear them perform this song live and loud in a huge arena. It would almost be on par with Coldplay performing "Fix You". Almost.
21. Girl In The War (acoustic demo), Josh Ritter, from Girl In The War EP: We end with a guy who is one of my favorite songwriters and who put on the best club show of the year. I prefer this stripped down version of the song (the original is from the disc The Animal Years) because the quiet intensity of the vocal, sometimes just a whisper over the guitar, barely conceals the sadness and anger underneath. Closes with my favorite line of the year: "...her eyes are like champange: They sparkle, bubble over, and in the morning all you got is rain."

One Of Them There Gnomes...

2006-12-14T21:30:00.000-06:00

Happy: Last night's benefit concert for Room In The Inn. It was in Christ Church Cathedral downtown, which I had never been in but will now call one of the most beautiful cathedrals I've been to. Loved the Nashville Mandolin Ensemble, Emmylou, John Cowan, but the highlight was John Prine and his heartbreaking "Hello In There". Him singing in that gorgeous space, accompanied by just acoustic guitar and upright bass, with the perfect acoustics and the perfectly silent crowd was one the most beautiful snippets of live music I've ever experienced.

Sad: The other day a patient said that I reminded her of a gnome.
"A gnome?" I asked, clearly mishearing.
"Yes, a gnome! You know," she continued, astounded of my ignorance, "one of them there garden things. That's what you remind me of." She then proceeded to laugh and laugh.
"Well, you remind me of someone who isn't going to get any pain medication." That's what I thought. Not what I said. Or did. She was very senile and not far from death. That would have been mean. Gnomes aren't mean.

Indifferent: Recent celebrity divorces from Brit and K-Fed, and Pam and Kid Rock. The homosexuals should rest easy: The heteros are doing a good job of destroying the sanctity of marriage all on their own.

Happy: NBC Thursday night: The Office + Scrubs. Comedy heaven. Tonight's highlight was Kevin karaoking to Alanis Morrisette's "You Oughta Know".

Oregon

2006-11-28T20:30:00.000-06:00

A while back I went out to Portland, Oregon to visit one of my best friends from high school. Everytime I leave there I am sad and a little bit jealous that he gets to live in such a cool place while I do not. I'm over it now, and finally got the film developed, so here are some pictures.

An hour east of Portland, with Mount Hood in the distance.

Above: A couple of pictures of Crater Lake National Park.

The dangerous, dangerous beach.

Along the coast.

Above was my favorite spot along the coast. I'm sitting on a cliff about five to eight feet above the surf. Every now and then the waves will hit the cliff (just like above) and drain into the tidal pool at the bottom of the picture. The tidal pool is perfectly clear, still water filled with starfish, crabs, coral and other sealife.

Above and below: A good guess would still be the coast.

The Pacific Coast Highway.

Randomisity

2006-11-14T20:25:00.000-06:00

Happy: To see old friends in Texas and Philadelphia recently. Philadelphia friends are from way back in Harding days, and had recently moved from New York City. While I was amazed at how quickly they developed a non-New York lifestyle (complete with minivan), it was still great to visit them and their far-too-cute children.

Sad: That Tower Records is closing. With all the time and money I've wasted in that store over the years I can't believe that they need to go out of business. The digital age of music caught up to them, though. That leaves a total of one good record store in all of Music City: Grimey's over on 8th Ave South.

Frustrated: In my attempts to introduce the phrase "cotton to" to general conversation. People just don't cotton to it. Some even believe that I've have made up this phrase though its so not true. Skeptics, check out this site here. You best be cotton to the truth.

Happily Surprised: That I've been underpaid the past nine months. I probably should look at my paycheck more often. I did this month and realized that a raise I was supposed to have received last February has not yet appeared on the paycheck. That means a nice little bonus for the December check. I sure enough can cotton to that.

Altocelarophobia

2006-10-26T20:25:00.000-05:00

This is what I have. I don't even know if this is a real word, since Google only came up with a couple of hits with it. Altocelarophobia is a fear of high ceilings.
I have no problems with outdoor heights. I can stand on the top of the Empire State Building or on the edge of the Grand Canyon with no problems whatsoever, other than standing probably too close to the edge. Take me indoors, though, and the story changes.
My first experience with altocelarophobia (that I can remember) came when we went to St. Louis to see a touring production of the Broadway musical "Annie". I was maybe seven or eight at the time. We were going to our seats high up in the highest balcony, and the far distance to the ceiling combined with the height above the stage freaked me out. I had to leave, and I think I cried a bit. However, eventually I sucked it up and went back in because I wanted to know what happened to that stupid orphan.
The symptoms of altocelarophobia (for me, at least) include anxiety, sweating, and the insane fear that somehow suddenly gravity is going to give way and you're going to be sucked up into all that open space. Then, once you're sucked way up to the top of all that space gravity magically reappears and you fall to your death. Sound irrational? That's why its called a phobia.
For me the phobia is very subjective. Some buildings (like the Gaylord Entertainment Center, or the new Schermerhorn Symphony Hall) don't bother me much at all. Others, though, like the main hall at TPAC, or the Grand Ole Opry House (both of which I prefer to sit underneath the balcony), do not make me very happy.
Still at other times the phobia will come and go for the same building. Take this building, for instance:

This is the Santa Maria Del Fiore, or the Duomo, one of my favorite buildings in the whole wide world. I've been in this building probably two dozen times during my travels to Florence. Most of the time I've been fine standing there in the center of the cathedral, where the height from the floor to the top of the interior of the dome is nearly 300 feet. Last summer, however, when I went to Italy with my friend Brant, I had a near panic attack just walking down the nave of the cathedral, much less under the dome. I had to wait outside while he did the rest of the sightseeing. This summer, things were much better, and I was even able to take the following picture of the dome's interior, although I had to steady myself against a column to do so.

My overall worst experience with the altocelarophobia came at St. Paul's cathedral in London.
There they have a staircase that you can climb to take you to the base of the dome and walk around it on the inside. For some reason I thought this was a good idea so I climbed the 259 steps and came out on the landing at the base of the dome. I was 100 feet above the ground, with the top of the dome another 150 feet above, with nothing but empty, dark, echoing space directly in front of me. My first thought was to just pass out, a bad idea since the railing directly in front of me was barely at waist height. Toppling to my death would have been a bad ending to an otherwise great trip. Sadly, I could not go out the way I came in, and even sadder, the exit was at the opposite side of the dome, which was another 100 feet directly across. Bad, bad times. I pretty much went on my hands and knees and crawled around, looking straight at the floor, to the far side of the dome, ignoring the stares and the whispers of "stupid American."
However, true to the subjective nature of the phobia, I later saw "Phantom of the Opera", sitting in the balcony of a very high-ceilinged theater. No problems there, though I did sleep through much of the second act. That wasn't altocelarophobia, though; it was just boredom.

Last Night's Dream

2006-10-16T20:25:00.000-05:00

Though I am a fan of his music, I'm not sure that I could pick Jack White out of a crowd. However, I did see someone who looked a lot like what I think he looks like Sunday afternoon in Restoration Hardware. I'm not certain enough to claim a celebrity sighting, but certain enough that he made it into last night's dream, which went as follows:

I am walking into the auditorium in my hometown church when someone's hand is on my shoulder hurrying me through the door. The hand belongs to none other than Ryan Adams, and apparently he's in a hurry since he, Jack White, and Emmylou Harris are doing some sort of benefit concert and/or recording in the church's auditorium (never mind that the hometown church most likely would never allow either Jack or Ryan, much less their musical instruments, within 500 feet of the property. Emmylou, however, might get a free pass). Anyways, I'm sitting on the front row pew, but looking back over my shoulder since the three are not playing on stage, but have set up shop amidst the pews across the middle of the auditorium. I don't remember much of the concert, except a beautiful piano ballad (Ryan on piano, Emmy on vocals, Jack apparently just watching). I even remember a line from the song:

"And there's really nothing left of us. Not you, the love, or any of that stuff."

A really crappy lyric, but a bit unsettling as well. However, since Emmylou was singing it, it was quite beautiful. Abruptly, though, the concert/recording ended. Edsel, who is an older gentlemen and prior elder at the hometown church, then got up to read announcements. Apparently in a couple of Sunday nights we were going to join another congregation for worship. He warned us that their service went on longer than ours, but basically not to complain because it shouldn't be a problem to give, in his words, "an extra fifteen minutes to the Lord."
In my pew I nodded in agreement: "No, it shouldn't be a problem. Not at all." I then turned and sitting next to me was my dad, dressed in full camoflague. He even had on camouflagey face-paint, like he was getting ready to go ambush the Viet Cong or something. I was just about to ask him why he was dressed for a jungle raid when I woke up.

Randomisity

2006-10-02T18:55:00.000-05:00

Hooray for last weekend: Which was Katie's and I one-year anniversary, which involved a day-trip to Chattanooga (not Mud Island; don't know how that rumor was started). They have done a great job revitalizing that town, and if you go you should check out Terra Nostra, which is a fantastic tapas restaurant in the North Shore neighborhood. Weekend festivities continued Sunday with Bonnie Raitt and Keb Mo at the Opry House. Bonnie Raitt puts on a terrific show. Great weekend. Great year.

Hooray for next weekend: Which is a trip with one of my best friends to see another best friend (both from high school days or before) out to Portland, Oregon. We're only all together maybe once or twice a year at most so I'm really looking forward to it. Add to that the fact that I get to spend a few days in the wonderful Pacific Northwest and the joy becomes boundless.

Most played on the iPod this week: A rootsy selection: Solomon Burke's Nashville. This is a terrific old-school country soul album (album?) recorded in Buddy Miller's living room. Very raw, like walking in on a jam session of stupidly talented good friends (which is basically what this album is). Also Ray LeMontagne's: Till The Sun Turns Black, which has grown on me alot. Has this weird chamber-folk-funk-horn-infused-blues vibe going on. Finally, the Scissor Sisters single "I Don't Feel Like Dancin'", which is the complete polar opposite of rootsy. A fine guilty pleasure; makes me feel like its the fourth grade and I'm back at the roller rink (scary mental image goes here).

LOST: Starts Wednesday. Cannot wait. I have a feeling that this show will write itself into an X-Files like corner where in the end it won't be able to explain anything. But I'll still be along for the ride.

Norway Pictures

2006-09-25T18:14:00.000-05:00

As promised, some random pictures from my recent journey to Norway. After spending a night in Oslo to get acclimated to the time change, I took a six hour train trip across the country to Bergen, on the west coast. I rented a car there (potentially scary, but ultimately just like driving here except lower speed limits and more roundabouts) and spent a couple of days exploring the fjord country of western Norway. The shot above and the one below are just random look what's off the side of the road shots. The scenery was just continuous and jaw-dropping, and no camera, especially my old-school 35mm, could do it justice.

One of the touristy things that I did was ride the Flamsbana, a 12 mile railway that climbs from sea-level at the fjord to connect with the Oslo-Bergen train line at 2,850 feet. The pictures to the right and below were from this trip.

These next two pictures are of one of Norway's tallest waterfalls, the Voringsfossen. The main falls has a drop of about 600 feet, and the distance from the hotel (the red building in the left picture) to the base of the canyon is over 1000 feet. The picture below right is the best I could get (without risking death) of the entire cascade. For a sense of scale, look ultra-closely to the picture on the right, about half-way up the right-hand edge, to see people on the lookout point.

The next leg of my journey was to take a plane and spend a couple of days exploring the north country. These next pictures are from that leg of the journey. The country there was equally beautiful but much more harsh and desolate.

Reindeer in the north country were legion. Here they wait patiently at a bus stop in the northern village of Hammerfest.

If you go to Europe and then head north, this is land's end. It is called the Nordkapp, some 300 miles north of the Arctic Circle. The brochure was beautiful; unfortunately the day I was there it was foggy (at least at sea level). So let me explain this picture to the right. It was taken on the edge of a cliff, some 1000 feet or so above the Arctic Ocean. The darker blue-grey streak about half-way up the photo is the Arctic stretching off towards the horizon. That's the best break in the fog I got. With the fog and a strong cold wind, the sense of nothingness and open space just beyond the edge of the cliff was a bit otherworldly. Many times you get subtle reminders of the beauty and power of God's creation. Other times, like here, the message is much more blunt and raw. I would love to go back.

Thanks Katie...

2006-09-19T22:20:00.000-05:00

...for being an insider and scoring tickets to the Emmylou is Great Benefit tonight at the Schermerhorm Symphony Center. Emmylou Harris, Elvis Costello, Patty Griffin, Dave Matthews, Steve Earle, Buddy Miller, Allison Moorer, Gillian Welch, Dave Rawlings, and more...and the new Symphony Center, what a beautiful building.
A fantastic evening.

Vacation's Over

2006-09-10T21:00:00.000-05:00

Avid readers of the blog (by now they must number in the thousands, perhaps millions) are sure to have noticed that I've been away for awhile. Checking religiously day after day and finding no new posts, happiness and anticipation must have slowly eroded to denial, confusion, then, inevitably, to despair. Tears were shed. Hope was lost. Sackcloth and ashes and Old Testament-style mourning surely ensued.
But cheer up Sunshine, and drop those murder-suicide pacts, because I have returned. It was vacation time in my little world, and hopefully soon I'll have the pictures to prove it. For now though, a few random observations about the trip (to Scandinavia and Italy):

1. Norway has some of the most beautiful scenery I've ever seen. I would compare it to the Pacific northwest, except more rugged and majestic. Endless fjords, canyons, waterfalls, mountains, and glaciers. Mile after mile of jaw-dropping scenery. I'll post pictures when I get them developed (still old school with the film), but the pictures won't do it justice.
2. In the battle of the Scandinavian capitals, Stockholm is the winner. It had the most to do, and had a beautiful old town, or Gamla Stan, as the Swedes might say. Helsinki comes in second, though technically not in Scandinavia, and Oslo third. Copenhagen, which is in Scandinavia, didn't get visited, so its disqualified. Sorry, Danes.
3. A week ago Wednesday I ran into somebody I worked with. Not so strange, except I was in Norway, at the Nordkapp, the most northern tip of Europe, 300 miles north of the Arctic Circle. So maybe a little strange.
4. Seeing Snakes on a Plane at the late show at 100 Oaks is not nearly as fun as seeing it with a theaterful of Swedes.
5. Best book I read while away: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close by Jonathan Safran Foer, about a 9-year old boy who loses his father in 9/11. Written from the perspective of the boy, it was both hilarious and very very sad. Strangely, all four books I read had loss as it central theme, whether EL&IC, No Country for Old Men (by Cormac McCarthy, a neo-western, loss of innocence and a simpler life), Amnesia Moon (Jonathan Lethem, science-fiction, loss of memory and identity), or The Ruins (Scott Smith, creepy-disturbing, just being lost). All four books were bought at different times, so maybe it something acting subconsciously? Who knows.
6. I had at least four people come up to me and ask directions in a language other than English. Although I wasn't able to answer, it made me feel good. It meant that at least I wasn't looking obviously touristy or American. However, the one day I wore my American flag bandanna and my "DUBYA RULES!!" pantsuit, that was a different story.
7. I wish that while in Italy there were at least eight meals a day. I also wish that you would be deathly hungry before each of them. And I also wish that there was always room for gelato. And I wish I was eating gelato right now. Chocolate truffle gelato was my favorite. Pure frozen joy.

B-List Celebrity Sighting Smackdown

2006-08-20T16:51:00.000-05:00

Thursday night: Newlyweds Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson spotted at Maggiano's Little Italy. Apparently he lives here, and they were in town for the Nashville stop of their Marriage is Sacred tour. They looked every bit as classy as they do in this picture.

Friday night: Gunnar Nelson, one half of early 90s pop duo Nelson, spotted at Rafferty's. I had no idea what Gunnar Nelson looks likes, but enough people at our table were sure enough that I concurred. Here's a picture of the fab duo back in the big hair days:

The Gunnar sighting happened just before we went to see Snakes on a Plane, which is every bit as fun and trashy as the title suggests. All in all, a high cultured couple of days.

Disturbing...

2006-08-16T20:38:00.000-05:00

A friend at work told me to go to youtube.com, and type "Russian dog video" into its search engine (parental guidance suggested, kids; Kate - don't look). What you find is research footage (Russian, apparently, though the narration is in English), where they have decapitated a dog and hooked up the head to some primitive blood bypass machine. The head is therefore still alive, responding to smells and touch and so forth. The whole thing is set to a tinny, crackly orchestral soundtrack that makes the whole thing seem a lost video from the Dharma Initiative. It could be a hoax, or it could be real. Either way, it is one of the more disturbing (and sad) things that I have ever seen. And since I couldn't think of anything else to post, I share that disturbance with you.

Random Things I Dislike

2006-08-10T19:10:00.000-05:00

Call weekends: They come around once a month, and are extremely unpredictable. Sometimes you don't get called in at all, and sometimes you spend all weekend there. Unfortunately, last weekend was one of the latter. Sad. General theme of this particular call weekend: People who enjoy crack.

Lebanon: So this nation, (not the town in middle Tennessee, which, for all I know, is eminently likeable) is upset about Israeli troops on its soil, messing with its sovereignty. The thing is, with a militant uncontrolled Hezbollah running around the country, they never had sovereignty to begin with. The civilian deaths are very tragic, however Beirut would not be in ruins if the Lebanese military would have disarmed Hezbollah when it was supposed to.

James Blunt: So his song, "You're Beautiful", was nice enough the first 500,000 times I heard it. However, a while back Kate and I watched him perform on Saturday Night Live, and his facial expression while singing fell somewhere between seizure and severe constipation. It was kind of disturbing, enough so that I didn't want to see him ever again. Since then, everytime I hear him I remember his creepy song-face so I can't listen to him anymore, either.

Summer tv season: 250 channels of crap. Need new Lost and The Office now.

This Really is Music City

2006-08-03T20:27:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago a large group of us went to see Guster and Ray LeMontagne at the Ryman. Beforehand, I didn't know too much about Guster (but have since listened to their latest cd, Ganging Up on the Sun, compulsively. Thanks Lara.), but was very much looking forward to Ray, since I was a big fan of his cd, Trouble.
It was a very good show all around, with some drama right in the middle. Much has been discussed elsewhere about Ray's panty-wadded exit, so I won't go into any details. According to his Myspace page this has happened in Baltimore, Indy, and elsewhere, so it wasn't just an annoying Nashville crowd. Dan's take on the whole deal was pretty much the best I've read on the subject. However, since his treastise came in the form of a long-deleted e-mail you don't get to read it. It was spot on, though.
Then, last Sunday I went to perhaps one of the best club shows I've ever seen: Josh Ritter at 3rd and Lindsley. Club show audiences in Nashville are notoriously annoying and loud (Ray could not tolerate), however Ritter pretty much completely captivated the audience. A very very quiet song, "Idaho", is just a softly picked acoustic guitar and him singing just above a whisper. The amazing thing was the complete attention of the crowd, with a rapt silence that would have made The Bluebird jealous. Ritter is a terrific songwriter; go iTune his music. I like his first major cd, Golden Age of Radio, the best. But they are all good.
Next up in live-music world, Nickel Creek back at the Ryman. I've never seen them live, but I'll bet they make a more graceful exit than Ray.

Great Moments For My Self Esteem, Part 1

2006-07-25T23:34:00.000-05:00

The "Did he just ask me that?" look.

Fortunately, since I've been in a relationship for some time now, it has been a long time since I've gotten the DHJAMT. However, the blogging well has been dry for a couple of weeks now, so I thought I would share some of my past knowledge with those out there in Internetland.
When asking someone out for the first time, there is a microsecond of time in between the words leaving your mouth and her comprehension of those words. In this briefest of windows, you will catch one of three looks coming across her face.
The first look, the one you're hoping for, is a little sparkle in the eyes, and the tiniest of smiles before you get the "yes". Happy times ahead, because this is a genuine yes, not some pity-party yes. Life is good.
The second look precedes the pity-party yes. No sparkle, just the briefest hint of confusion, then her mind deliberating on an answer. Depending on how the committee votes, you might get your yes. Possibly happy times ahead, but maybe not. Uncertainty abounds.
Then, fortunately rarely, is the dreaded "did he just ask me that?" look. This is when you ask her out, and there is, however briefly, a look of abject horror that passes across her face. If she's good it passes so quickly you might even miss it. If you catch her off guard, though, it lingers long enough to take that self esteem down a notch or two.
Here is what you thought you asked: "Hey, would you like to go out with me Friday night to a movie/concert/dinner?"
However, judging by her expression, this is what she must have heard: "Hey, you want to go out back and watch me drown this sackful of kittens?"
Again, the DHJAMT look is fleeting, and momentarily some poorly improvised excuse will come forth explaining why she can't be seen with you in public. No happy times ahead with that one.

Randomisity

2006-07-13T20:55:00.000-05:00

Rediscovered CD of the week: Sting, All This Time. This disc is a live performance recorded in Tuscany on September 11, 2001. If I remember correctly, with the time difference, news of the New York/Washington attacks came just a few hours before showtime. Much debate over whether or not to actually proceed, but they did, and the performance is intimate, subdued, and quite lovely. With all the horror of that day I can imagine being at that performance was a little oasis of calm and normality. Bonus points because it features a beautiful rendition of "Fields of Gold", which I would put high on a list of best songs of all time.

Completely uninteresting fact: I have not seen a movie more than once this summer season. Very unusual for me, since if I enjoy a movie enough I'll see it as many as three or four times in the theater (ummm, LOTR). Don't have a definitive explanation for this one. I've enjoyed many that have come out, and look forward to others (Lady in the Water, RickyBobby). I'm guessing Superman Returns gets the best chance of a repeat because I still want to see it on IMAX 3-D.

Perirectal Abscess: It is as disgusting as it sounds. You just wish your job was as glamorous as mine.

Another workplace jewel: Speaking of my glamorous job, I got punched in the face by a patient for the first time last week. He was still very sleepy, and as we were moving him from the table to the stretcher his arms involuntarily jerked and my nose just happened to be in the way of his left fist. It didn't hurt too bad, but for a half-second my gut reaction was to punch him back. No turning the other cheek for me, especially if the other guy is only semi-conscious.

Song of the week: "Beautiful Son" by a group called Without Gravity. Heard it off the satellite. The album is called Tenderfoot. They are an Americana band from Iceland. Go figure.

Chicago

2006-07-05T23:38:00.000-05:00

Just in case you haven't visited Kate's, JT's, or FS's blog in awhile, here are some Chicago pictures for your edification. I had a great time there with Kate over the weekend. Ate well, near perfect weather, great town. I could just about live up there if there wasn't such a thing as winter. Just about a perfect weekend.

The view from the hotel room, looking out over the Chicago River towards Lake Michigan. Nice hotel. Extremely loud co-guests.

The Bean (officially known as "Cloud Gate"), in Millennium Park.

The obligatory Bean reflection shot.

Inside Wrigley Field. Cubs vs. White Sox (apparently they don't like each other very much). Very close game, back and forth scoring, with the Cubs up 8 to 6 in the 9th inning with 2 outs. Then the Sox hit a 3 run homer to win the game. As the crowd goes crazy, littering garbage onto the field, a few annoyingly loud (and by this time, extremely drunk) White Sox fans in our section go wild, and after falling headfirst down the stairs, start several fights with angry Cubs fans. It was a near-riot. It was fantastic.

The hazy skyline from the top of the Hancock Tower. FYI, the men's restroom is view-free.

The Sears Tower and other tallness from the architectural boat tour along the Chicago River. Our docent from the Chicago Architecture Foundation was architecturally omnipotent.

The Mormon Temple, nowhere near Chicago but in Salt Lake. These are left over pictures that made it onto my first Chicago roll. The Mormon campus is in the middle of downtown Salt Lake. It is beautiful, spotless, and full of freakishly friendly Mormons.

Again, nowhere near Chicago but out in Yellowstone. I had really high hopes for this picture as the view across the geyser basin to the mountains was very beautiful, especially just after sunset. However, something went wrong and it came out blurry. If you don't enlarge it and use your imagination it still looks alright.

The Belcourt, Bjork, and B-13

2006-06-26T23:25:00.000-05:00

This past week I went to see a couple of movies at the Belcourt. For those that don't know the Belcourt is a fantastic nonprofit movie house/theater/music venue in Hillsboro Village. It is one of the few old-time neighborhood theaters left in town (the other, Franklin Cinema in downtown Franklin, is in danger of closing later this year).
On Wednesday night Kate and I saw Prairie Home Companion, which I really enjoyed. On Tuesday afternoon I went alone and saw Department B-13, a French action movie with English subtitles. There's not much to know about the plot, except that about 3 minutes into it fighting, chases, and explosions ensue and don't really let up until the credits roll. Good movie.
However, before the showing of B-13, I saw what I think might have been the worst movie preview ever. Not a bad preview in the way you might think a movie looks dumb or uninteresting, but bad in a way that causes physical pain and emotional distress.
This movie is called Drawing Restraint 9. It stars Bjork and Barney (not the purple dinosaur, though it might actually have made it better). Set to a soundtrack that sounds like a sped-up audio recording of a roomful of kittens being tortured, various scenes flash on the screen: Bjork dancing around on a whaling ship, some icebergs, and a few concerned Japanese fishermen. There were other images, but I was trying to staunch the bloodflow from my ears, so I didn't get them all. However, nothing about the plot is really explained.
And though I didn't really want explanation, a part of me was intrigued (or bored) enough to seek out the film's website when I got home. You can visit it here, but it won't explain anything either. It will give pearls of wisdom like: "Production is the anal output of the path." I don't know what that means, but I'm going to try to use that sentence at least once a day.
Finally, I searched out my favorite site, Bjork.com, and came across a plot synopsis. It is several paragraphs long, so I'll only reproduce my favorite:

"In a harrowing liebestod which is the climax and centerpiece of the film, the Guests (Bjork and Barney), locked in an embrace and breathing through blowhole-like orifices in the back of their necks, take out flensing knives and cut away each other's feet and thighs. The remains of their lower bodies are revealed to contain traces of whales' tails at an early stage of development, suggesting rebirth, physical transformation, and the possibility of new forms."

Wow. Watching icebergs and listening to kitty torture I never would have guessed that was how this movie would end. If you want to click on over to Fandango right now and grab some tickets go ahead. Sorry I gave away the climax of the movie.

The Great Western Roadtrip, Part II

2006-06-15T21:00:00.000-05:00

This is Telluride, a ski resort town in southwestern Colorado that is one of my favorite places. Ironic, a little, since I've never snow skied and have only been there in the summer. The picture above is looking down Main Street, which is the only road into town. A mile or so further up the road becomes a 4-wheel drive only trail that snakes up the mountain pass. The night in Telluride was the only period of rainy weather for the trip so the pictures did not turn out that great.

Here we are in Grand Tetons National Park, with, along with nearby Jackson Hole, might be my new favorite. It was nice at the very least to visit with an actual driver's license and with money.

I came across this guy walking down the highway in the middle of the park. I put my car in reverse and got along side of him to take his picture. He started walking faster. I again put my car in reverse to pull along side, we he then made a somewhat threatening noise and momentarily stood on his hind legs. Not knowing whether or not my rental had bear insurance, I drove on.

The Grand Tetons once again, this time near sunset.

Since the direct road from the Tetons to Yellowstone was still closed for the winter, I had to detour around through eastern Idaho. There I came across this, Upper Mesa Falls.

Yellowstone was overrun with buffalo and elk.

My favorite part of Yellowstone: The Grand Canyon of the Yellowstone river. This is a picture of the lower falls, as is the picture below, which was taken further down the canyon.

Finally, a picture of Old Faithful. Unfortunately, by the time I got around to see it the sun was heading down. If I dug through my closet I probably could find some better pictures from my first, ill-fated trip. I did plan on getting up early to drive by and take a few more pictures on my way back to Salt Lake. However, getting up early voluntarily rarely, if ever, works for me.

List of the Week

2006-06-08T21:00:00.000-05:00

Made for TV movies coming soon to Lifetime Television
Hey kids, four of these titles are actual for-real Lifetime Made-For-TV titles! Guess which ones and win a fabulous prize!

1. A Scream in the Night
2. The Good Husband (A Fantasy)
3. The Fire Down Below (Betty Battles Chlamydia)
4. Mother, May I Sleep With Danger?
5. A Scream During Midmorning
6. Day Spa Apocalypse
7. A Date With Darkness
8. Orgy of Blood II: Massacre at the Garden Club
9. A Scream Shortly Before 3:30
10. Diane, A Loving, Generous, Wonderful, Self-Sacrificing Housewive, Unexpectedly Gets A Rare Form of Cancer, Her Horrible, Selfish, Bigoted, Crack-Addict Husband Leaves Her, She Unexpectedly Meets A Dashing Yet Mysterious Oncologist, He Gives Her The Last Dose of A Secret New Mystery Cure, She Miraculously Goes Into Remission, They Fall Madly in Love, Marry, The Cancer Makes an Unexpected and Horrific Comeback, The One Ingredient Necessary to Make Another Dose of the Mystery Cure Is In the Hands of Her Horrible, Selfish, Bigoted, Crack-Addict ex-Husband Who Refuses to Help, She Dies Tragically Yet Beautifully in the Dashing Yet Mysterious Oncologist's Arms. Fin.
11. Deadly Intentions...Again?
12. Molly and Her Magic Uterus
13. Baby Monitor: Sound of Fear
14. Women: Fantastic; Men: Not So Much

The Scene of the Crime

2006-05-30T21:18:00.000-05:00

This lovely spot is along US 289 at the north end of the Grand Tetons National Park, just a bit south of the entrance to Yellowstone. This was my second occasion to spend some time along this roadside, the first being back in August of 1999. However, the story actually begins in February of that year, a couple of thousand miles away in the little town of Tuxedo, New York, just upstate from the City.
It was in the quaint little speedtrap of Tuxedo that I received a speeding ticket. The speed limit went from 55 to like, 18, instantly, and the cop was just beyond the sign. He was a jerk, and I was annoyed. I was also pretty broke at the time, not having budgeted any money for unwarranted traffic tickets, so I just didn't pay it. Looking back, not so smart.
I had just recently moved from Tennessee to the City, so a couple of months later I finally got around to switching my license over to New York State. I was fairly certain that my unpaid indiscretion would come up in the system, but nothing was said by the exceedingly pleasant NYC DMV officer. I assumed that the ticket was lost in the system, and having changed my license to a different state, I was home free. Again, not so smart.
Come August, I took a few weeks off to make a cross-country roadtrip to visit my friend Jason in Portland, Oregon. I did not at all have the financial resources to make such a trip. I did, however, have Mr. Visa, who was getting to be my best friend at the time. My car at the time was a little blue Toyota Tercel with about a billion miles on it. Though it would unknowingly die a violent death six months later it was still a great car, but unable to get cross-country. By doing some research, however, I discovered that it was insanely cheaper (by about $200) to rent a car in Columbus, Ohio, than in NYC.
So early one morning I headed west in my little blue Tercel, drove about 8 hours to Columbus to get my rental car, stopped off in Louisville to have dinner with a friend, and was home to my parents house in Missouri by midnight. I drove really fast. Once a cop pulled out and I was sure I was caught, but he pulled over the car behind me.
It was, in the beginning, a wonderful trip. Before then, I had never been west of Colorado. I hit Utah, Tahoe, San Francisco, and drove up the coast through the redwoods to Portland. I had a terrific time hanging out with my friends there. We went to the beach. We went to the mountains. We saw Lucinda Williams perform in a small club. Great times. I next detoured up through Seattle, crossed the border to Vancouver, then headed east. Cutting southeast through Montana, I spent the day in Yellowstone, and was heading to Jackson, Wyoming to spend the night when I got right about to the spot where I took that picture.
Turns out I was speeding. A park ranger pulled me over. I was a little annoyed, more hungry than anything because it was close to dinner. He went back to his car and did his thing, then came back up to me and said something like, "Did you know your license got revoked about two months ago?"
No. No I did not. I (not so smart) had actually forgotten about the unpaid ticket until he told me the reason why I had driven 5000 miles without a license.
The good news was, he didn't arrest me, which he could have. Actually, he was pretty nice. The rest of the news was all bad. Driving without a license, now a federal offense since it was on national park land: $400. I was in the middle of the wilderness, about 40 miles from Jackson, unable to drive my car, which was going to be impounded. A tow truck out from Jackson and back for the car, plus a cab for me (why I couldn't ride in the truck was never satisfactorily explained), not cheap at all. On the plus side, the cabbie tried desperately to talk the tow truck driver into letting me have my car, wherein I would make my escape as some sort of fugitive. Looking back, it was probably a good thing he didn't go for it.
So the cabbie dropped me off at the Super 8. I didn't have any money. There was no way to get the car out of impound, and I was alone, 2300 miles from home. Paying the ticket (with money I didn't have) and processing it through the system would have taken days. I had to make the phone call.
I've called my dad for assistance many times, but for some reason I thought this might be different. I thought I was going to be happy that we were separated by several states, but he was very calm when I explained the situation. Our conversation, as I remember it, was fairly short, and ended along the lines of him saying: "I'll see what I can do."
The next morning I discovered there was a rental car outlet in Jackson where I could drop off my car, and even better, they did not charge me the full drop charge. Dad bought me a plane ticket out of Salt Lake City. A shuttle operated between Jackson and the airport and would leave about six the next morning.
I was still broke. The unexpected expenses of the past 24 hours had maxed out Mr. Visa. He was no longer my friend. Fortunately, Jackson had a youth hostel so I had a cheap bed for my last night in Wyoming. I got up early, early the next morning and walked about a mile to the shuttle pickup for the five hour trip to Salt Lake. My flight didn't leave for another day, so I had a lovely 24 hour stay in the SLC airport. If I remember right I budgeted enough money for one meal for that 24 hours, at the Burger King. I couldn't afford anything on the extra value menu. I think I ate some fries.
The next day, however, I was back home. I was so broke that I couldn't afford a whole cab ride to my apartment from LaGuardia, instead instructing the driver to stop when the money ran out. I then walked a few blocks, used a Metrocard, and took the subway the rest of the way home.

So I guess you're wondering if I learned any lessons. A few. Since then, Mr. Visa is no longer a friend. Once paying him off I've been more or less credit card free ever since. Another lesson: Always pay your traffic tickets. The law always wins. Seems obvious enough. And a big thanks to dad, who did what fathers do, love their sons and help them even when they are breathtakingly stupid.
And, finally, if you were astute you realized that while I flew back to New York, my little blue Tercel was still in long term parking in Columbus. And there it stayed, for several weeks, until I was able to afford a one-way ticket to bring it home. Other than a flat tire that had to be changed, it was just as I left it. It started beautifully, and made the trip back to the City without any problems. That was a great car.

The Great Western Roadtrip, Part 1

2006-05-22T22:55:00.000-05:00

Whenever I go visit a friend in some far off land, I like to rent a car before or after that visit and go out and explore the country. When I go visit New York friends, I'll spend a day or two up in New England, or when I visit Oregon friend, I'll explore the great Northwest. A few weeks ago, when I met Brant in Las Vegas, I had a week's vacation, so I did a somewhat extreme version of this. 2600 miles, 7 states, 5 national parks. I started in Las Vegas, and worked north by northeast across southern Utah to Telluride, Colorado. From there it was a straight shot north into Wyoming to the Tetons and Yellowstone, before circling back to Mormon country and flying out of Salt Lake. I absolutely love the west. I'm sure a part of me will always regret never living out there. My requirements for such trips are a couple of books (The DaVinci Code and A Brief History of the Dead, the latter being much better than the former), my iPod (which briefly died 15 miles out of Las Vegas, causing much, thankfully short-lived, rage), my camera, and a lot of film. Anyway, what follows are some pictures, in sort-of-chronological order, from my time out west.

This is what's supposed to be the world's tallest chocolate fountain, in a confectionary in the Bellagio Casino. There are three little rivers of chocolate: Dark, milk, and white. Unfortunately, the whole deal is behind glass so you can't stick your face in it. The chocolate must remain untouched by human hands.

The Spring Mountains National Recreation Area, home to Mt. Charleston, at 11,900 feet the tallest peak in southern Nevada. Incredibly, this is only about 40 miles or so from the Las Vegas Strip. We went hiking out here, up to a waterfall at about 9000 feet in elevation. The waterfalls are in the picture below. That would be Brant in the lower left hand corner.

Capitol Reef National Park in southern Utah. Southern Utah had some of the most amazing and remote landscapes I had ever seen. The picture below is the overlook towards Escalante Canyon. This overlook, according to a nearby sign, is one of the best places in the country for stargazing, since the nearest manmade light is almost 40 miles away. Conveniently, I was there in midmorning.

Glen Canyon and the Colorado River, still in southern Utah. I think that this is also supposed to be the high end of Lake Powell, but the drought put a stop to it. Finally, since its late and I'm tired, we'll end with a couple of pictures of Bryce Canyon, probably my favorite of the Utah National Parks. The geology of the rock formations there was beautiful.

So that ends the picture show for today. Fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on your perspective) there is still Colorado, the Grand Tetons (my personal favorite), and Yellowstone to go, but those pictures will wait for another time.

The 20 Minute Guarantee

2006-05-15T21:45:00.000-05:00

So I recently returned from a trip out west that included a weekend in Las Vegas. This has been a yearly tradition for Brant and I. Brant is a good friend who lives in Houston. Our first trip was a stress relief weekend during graduate school, and we've tried to make the trip once a year since.
In comparison to many who travel to Vegas, our experiences are very, very tame. I can enjoy Vegas for about 48 hours at the most. After that the griminess that lies just beneath all the neon and glitz starts to get to me. Vegas is like the proverbial whitewashed fence, all shiny and glistening on the surface, but at its core it is something different entirely.
So a weekend there is good for me. It is fun to just wander the Strip. I usually blow a little money on the slot machines (spending $10 and coming out with $40 at one casino was high rolling in my world). In addition to the regular gluttony, we have our customary steak dinner (BOA Steakhouse in Caesar's Palace was fantastic). We'll also rent a car and get out of town. This time we went hiking in the mountains northwest of the city. It is amazing that 30 miles outside of the city limits you can be some 6000 feet higher in elevation, 30 degrees cooler, and hiking in snow covered, alpine forest. Some pictures are coming soon from that, but otherwise here are a few observations about the city:

Best free entertainment: The Fountains at the Bellagio. In front of the Bellagio Casino is a eight acre lake (filled with treated wastewater, but don't think about that). Every fifteen minutes or so at night, dozens and dozens of fountains choreograph a water show to music, sometimes shooting water a hundred feet in the air. It was my favorite thing to watch my first time out there, and its still my favorite thing to see. Anything that can make a Celine Dion song bearable, or God forbid, even touching, has to be special. We caught the last show, at midnight, when they played the Star Spangled Banner.

Worst free entertainment: The Sirens of TI. First off, TI is the new hip name for Treasure Island Casino. Back in the day, when Vegas was attempting a family friendly image, this was a pretty neat show in which two pirate ships attacked each other on a lake in front of the casino. There were stunts, explosions, and one of the ships actually sank. But family friendly is so 2000, so today you have the Sirens of TI, in which a ship of unsuspecting pirates is attacked by a ship of sirens, who are basically half dressed pirate-hookers. There is some sort of plot involved, in which the pirates succumb to the seductive siren song of the pirate-hookers. Unfortunately their siren song consists of some horribly dubbed Paula Abdul outtakes circa 1995, and the dancing is sub-Spring Sing. Its not like the pirates succumb so much as they commit suicide.

Best offer that we did not take advantage of: Hookers to your room in 20 minutes, guaranteed. Last year the guarantee was 30 minutes, so there is either increased competition, or sometime in the past year a huge breakthrough was made in the field of prostitute transport logistics. It is pretty impressive. It took us on average at least 20 minutes from the time we left the Strip to navigate through the lobby, make our way through the maze of slots and other distractions, down the corridors, up the elevator, and to our room. I don't see how a prostitute could do it. All weekend long I was on the lookout for some hooker in stilettos madly sprinting through the casino to make the deadline. There must be some vast underground prostitute delivery system, perhaps using pneumatic tubes or something. Hookers arriving a full 10 minutes before your pizza. What a world.

Randomosity

2006-05-04T22:30:00.000-05:00

Congrats to Vick, who posted and therefore had her blog moved off of my critical care list. Dan, LB, and Rachel: Learn by example. However, I think that these three have moved on to the Next Big Thing, which is myspace.com . This seems to be the online equivalent of a perpetual yearbook signing. It is fun to hop around and see how many people you know, but not enough fun to put forth the effort and create a page myself.

I ran the Country Music .5 Marathon last Saturday, with an unofficial time of 2:18 minutes and a chip time of 2:20:08. I am fairly happy with that. I was doing ok until mile 10.5 or so when the decision had to be made to either slow up and walk a bit or vomit and die. I chose wisely, but it broke me off of my 10 minute mile pace. (The winner, by the way, did it in an hour and four minutes, less than a 5 minute a mile pace. I hate him.) At the end of the race I never wanted to use my legs again. Now there is an outside chance I might try for the full one next year.

This Wednesday is a new episode of Lost. It will be the first new episode I will be able to watch since I've caught up on the series. Kate and I watched the first season on DVD, and then joined a group of Others to watch the second season off of various Tivos and iTunes downloads. Now that I am current I have let my full geekiness come forth and have started exploring the internet for various Lost sites and chatrooms. Check out lostpedia.com , or dharmasecrets.com . Again, I apologize for the geekiness.
Best moment: Shannon gets killed. Sorry, but she was basically a walking migraine.
Sweetest moment: The reunion of Bernard and Rose.
Freakiest moment: Libby in the psych hospital at the end of the Hurley episode.
Creepiest therefore most intriguing character: Henry Gale. Creepiest stare ever. He also has my favorite line. Referring to the Others, Locke says "these people have been here for God knows how long," to which Henry replies "God doesn't know how long we've been here. He can't see this island any better than the rest of the world can." What does that mean? The popular Everyone is Dead Already theory seems too easy, as does The Its All in Hurley's Head Theory. Obviously something supernatural is going on (witness big black cloud with the faces). Answers are needed.
Finally, could they please, just once, let the numbers run out, just to see what happens. My guess is absolutely nothing, but some contend that if the numbers run out then the whole world ends. They should take that risk.
Lost has built the best mythology of any series since the X-Files. I just hope it finds a way to resolve things better than that show did. The more complicated it gets, the more it risks painting itself into a corner. And yet I'll still watch.

Update (don't read if you haven't watched): Between writing all that mess above and this moment I've watched this week's episode; the end of which was, um, unexpected, to say the least. Has Michael been brainwashed to change teams, or is he going to insanely desparate measures to save his son?

My Wonderful Bedside Manner

2006-04-26T21:20:00.000-05:00

Excerpts from a recent conversation between me and a patient.

Me: "Good afternoon, I'm here to take care of you today. My name is..."
The patient: "Are you going to kill me?"
Me: "Ummm, no. I'm just going to give you a little sedation while they take some pictures..."
The patient: "You are then, you are going to kill me."
Me: "No sir, I won't kill you. Now let me take a look at your iv."
Of course, the iv from the floor is worthless so a new one must be started. I go and get supplies and come back to the bed.
The patient: "Who are you? Where's Brenda?"
Me: "I don't know who Brenda is. I need to start your iv real quick so we can get going."
I take his arm and wrap a tourniquet around it.
The patient: "What are you doing? Are you a doctor?"
Me: "No sir, I'm not a doctor, I'm..."
The patient: "You're not qualified to do this! Why are you wanting to kill me? Where's Brenda?"
Me: "I'm really not trying to kill you and Brenda isn't here. She went away."
The patient: "You must have killed her too."
Me: "Don't think so."
I put the iv needle in his arm, fortunately succeeding the first time.
Me: "There you go, all finished. That wasn't so bad was it?"
The patient: "You're going to kill me, aren't you?"
Me: "Have you ever played the Quiet Game? Its where everybody doesn't speak for as long as possible..."
The patient: "Maybe I'm already dead."
Me: "No, you're not dead yet. You're still talking. Dead people don't talk. That would be a miracle."
The patient: "That's it. I'm dead already. Is Brenda dead too?"
Me: "Fine, if you insist, you're dead. I'm still not sure about Brenda. Let's go get this MRI done. We'll look for her along the way."
For the record, the patient did not in fact die, although I did like him much better when he was unconscious. Brenda's whereabouts are still unknown.

Happy Anniversary

2006-04-21T15:23:00.000-05:00

Wow. This blog is one year old. For something that I was sure I would get bored with in a couple of weeks, its quite amazing that I've crapped out post after post for over a year now. Looking back over the year that was, I feel a little nostalgia is in order. There was never a theme to this blog. I kind of hoped to keep it as random as possible, and I feel that I have somewhat succeeded. I did 46 posts over the last year, which is fairly close to one per week. What I've done here is more or less list the subject of each of those posts, if nothing else to illustrate that randomisity has been achieved. Reflect and enjoy these little pearls of knowledge and wisdom once again. Feel free to laugh and cry. To all the faithful readers (3 or 4 of you, if I'm lucky), thanks for reading.

1. The word "crunk".
2. Shoes that make sweet sweet love to your feet.
3. Off to Italy.
4. Roma.
5. Kathy: The Girl So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her .
6. Firenze.
7. Pamela Anderson does not want you to eat breasts.
8. Cinque Terre and Como.
9. Salad tongs, inappropriately placed.
10. Emmylou does not want you to eat breasts, either.
11. My hometown.
12. Fine places to go eat.
13. John Prine, Asian horror, loft #313.
14. Darth Giggles.
15. Bad, bad day in the OR.
16. 30-year mortgage.
17. More Asian horror: Nude Yo-Yo Ma.
18. Dating sucks.
19. McSweeney's is hilarious.
20. Annoying and unshushed patrons at the Bluebird.
21. Full frontal nudity, Willy Wonka, cocoa pebbles.
22. Driving out west.
23. ...in my pants.
24. Pat Robertson is an idiot.
25. Meth-Lab Barbie.
26. 9-11.
27. Rabid monkeys craving juicy mangos.
28. Colorado.
29. Betty Jo digs into her skull with a butter knife.
30. Hiking in Tennessee.
31. Houston.
32. Fonude and fat people.
33. Freakish burro dream.
34. New York City.
35. Onion's Astrology.
36. Jesus and courteous driving.
37. 2005 was awesome.
38. Inappropriate anal probing.
39. XM is awesome.
40. 41 places to see before I die.
41. Abu exacts horrific revenge.
42. Ancient Hebrew tabernacle resembles prom scene from Carrie.
43. The Little Willies, our 48 hour winter, the Cracker Barrel.
44. Islam: not a crunk religion.
45. L'amour Rend Mon Pantalon Brouille (Love Makes My Pants Fuzzy).
46. The progressive state of Arkansas.

Shout Out to the Natural State

2006-04-08T09:45:00.000-05:00

Here's a question I didn't think I'd ever ask: Why can't we be as progressive as Arkansas?

Click here

List of the Week

2006-03-28T20:40:00.000-06:00

Possible Titles for an As-Yet-Unnamed Romantic-Comedy Project Starring Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson

1. I Love Love
2. Love is Pretty
3. Love is Nicer Than Kittens
4. Just Like Love in Real Life, Only the Opposite
5. It Took 8 Committees, 5 Writers and 3 Rewrites To Produce This Waste
6. Of Course They'll Find Love, They're Far More Attractive Than You
7. L'amour Rend Mon Pantalon Brouille
8. Love is Super, Way Better Than Hot Chocolate
9. If You Can Read This, You're Too Intelligent For This Film
10. Also Starring Greg Kinnear; He Won't Get the Girl
11. Orgy of Blood
12. I Ate A Bowl Of Alphabet Soup and Crapped Out This Script
13. Are Sun-Drenched Rainbow Puppy Kisses Better Than Love? Doubtful
14. Gone Forever: $20 and Two Hours of Your Life

There's Something Wrong Here...

2006-03-23T21:12:00.000-06:00

Here's a disturbing story about one Abdul Rahman. He is an Afghan man, who, after working as a medical relief worker, converted from Islam to Christianity. For this he was arrested, imprisoned, and faces the death penalty. At the moment most other nations are pressuring the Afghan government to release him, while Abdul himself facing psychological testing to make sure he's fit to stand trail. In this article , from CNN, a leading Muslim cleric has these encouraging words:

"Rejecting Islam is insulting God. We will not allow God to be humiliated. This man must die. Cut off his head! We will call upon the people to pull him to pieces until there is nothing left."

So the man's crime was converting to Christianity. Also, scandalously, when he was arrested he was in possession of a Bible. This is in a country that we recently "liberated", where we have a huge military presence, and whose government and people our soldiers are being killed to protect. Isn't there something wrong with this picture?

**************

Saturday update: The Afghan government is trying to find a way around a possible death sentence, perhaps by declaring Rahman unfit to stand trial (crazy for Christ?). Any trial might be as long as two months off. Most Muslim clerics are still calling for his death. And this past week a United States soldier was killed in a firefight with Taliban fighters in the southern part of the country. That would be a total of 283 Americans killed in that country since the operation began.

Randomosity Returns

2006-03-15T22:03:00.000-06:00

The Little Willies = Norah Jones' new country band = Happiness and Joy

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It has been a little over a week since the Academy Awards, in which Crash upset Brokeback Mountain for best picture. I was fine with the upset, since I never jumped on the Brokeback Bandwagon. Besides the moral issues, the gay cowboy film (actually they were sheepherders, but I guess that's a tougher pitch) was just a bit overpraised. However, I didn't think Crash deserved best picture either. That film was a bit over the top and melodramatic. The characters in that movie weren't bigots, they were Bigots, and every Stereotype imaginable made its appearance at one point or another. A little subtlety would have served that film well.
Being a bit of a movie geek, I try to see all the best picture nominees so I can have my own little awards ceremony. Given the five best picture nominees, I would have ranked them this way, from best film to worst: Munich, Capote, Brokeback, Crash, Good Night Good Luck.

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I took this picture to commemorate winter 2006, which started one weekend in February and lasted about 48 hours. It is a picture of the snow on my balcony. There was about an inch and a half that fell. As usual you would have thought it was fire and brimstone falling from the sky the way this city freaks out over a little snow. Nothing to worry about, however, since a couple of days later it was back to the 60s, and winter became a distant memory. Go global warming!!!

********

One recent post-call-day-hike was to this lovely spot, Ozone Falls. It is off of interstate 40. I thought that it was just past Cookeville, but it is actually just past Crossville, about thirty miles further up the Cumberland Plateau. It really isn't much of a hike, since the top of the falls is only a couple of hundred feet from the parking lot. Also, the trail to the bottom of the gorge is only about a half mile. However, that trail is horribly maintained and requires some climbing down boulders. It is a pretty little waterfall, though, falling about 110 feet into the gorge. You can also walk behind the falls.

********

Last Sunday after church we went to Cracker Barrel to eat breakfast. We all took a turn playing the classic Cracker Barrel peg game, where you jump pegs in the hope of ending up with just one. I left two, making me "pretty durn smart". All of my dining companions left 4 or more, making them all "eg-no-ra-mooses". I basked in my superior intellect. It has been the high point of my week.
It has been a slow week.

Israelite Priest: Worst Job Ever

2006-02-26T22:54:00.000-06:00

So at the beginning of the year our church decided to read through the Bible together. We all got little bookmarks with day-by-day scripture readings. I have done okay with this, though I am a bit behind. Our schedule has us switching back and forth between the Old Testament and New Testament. However, I went off script and have kept on reading straight through the OT.
No offense to the author (or especially the inspiration), but from about Exodus chapter 21 on through Leviticus and Numbers (and, it looks like, Deuteronomy) it is horribly tedious reading. Whoever wrote this (most likely Moses) desperately needed help punching up the dialouge.
However, there is still a lot of knowledge to be gleaned from these scriptures. One of these tidbits is the fact that being an Israelite priest must have been one of the worst jobs ever. Chapter upon chapter of rules and regulations. No praise teams for the Israelites. No heartwarming Ministry Moments or Birthday Sabbaths. Just lots and lots of sacrifices. And more than just sacrificing the animals, they had to be slaughtered just so, and the blood had to be sprayed on the altar just so, and the remains had to be disposed of just so. Numbers 29 describes the Feast of Tabernacles, where over the course of eight days 71 bulls, 15 rams, 105 lambs, and 8 goats were to be sacrificed, in addition to all the daily animal sacrifices. How did these people have any livestock left? On top of all the bloodletting, being a priest must have been a high stress job, since failure to follow the rules didn't result in a mark on the record or a lousy monthly evaluation. It usually resulted in some sort of death, mostly fire from the sky but there was some stoning for variety.
One of the most interesting verses is in Leviticus 22:19-20, where there is a whole list of body deformities that would prohibit one from approaching the tabernacle to offer sacrifice:

No man who is blind or lame, disfigured or deformed...hunchbacked or dwarfed, or
has any eye defect, or who has festering or running sores or damaged testicles.

This implies that someone was needed at a checkpoint to ensure that these regulations were enforced. I would assume that a priest with very low seniority, perhaps a summer intern priest, was assigned to check potential worshippers for running sores or damaged testicles. I can just see the priests coming to work in the morning to check the assignment list, crossing their fingers, thinking: "Please no testicle patrol, anything but testicle patrol..."
If the possibility of testicle patrol is anywhere in your job description, you are a candidate for having the worst job ever.

My Own Private Jihad

2006-02-16T20:05:00.000-06:00

If you haven't noticed, there has been quite the brouhaha in the Muslim world of late, all because of a little cartoon published in a Danish newspaper. The story goes that some Danish children's author was writing a book about the Muslim prophet Muhammad, but couldn't find anyone to do any illustrations of him. Seems that Muslim scholars have interpreted their scripture in a way that forbids any pictures of the prophet for fear that one might worship the pictures instead, which would lead of course to idolatry.
Anyway, in a show of free expression, a Danish newspaper named Jyllands-Posten invited drawings of Muhammad and published 12 of them. While some were innocent enough, others were (deliberately) more provocative, including one showing a scowling Muhammad with a turban shaped like a bomb. Subsequently there have been protests, buildings burned down, people killed, things like that.
A couple of points:
1. Though I can see where the average Muslim might find that cartoon offensive I'm tending to side with the free-expression folks on this one. I am exceedingly grateful to live in a society that lets me worship and say pretty much what I want to. However, the price of that is that everyone else gets to worship and say what they want as well, even when I don't agree with them. I wouldn't want to live in a society that forced Christianity on everyone any more than I would want to live in a society that forced everyone into Islam. There has been a call (mostly in Europe) for new censorship guidelines to confront Islamophobia (not my word, but a fun one nonetheless). The Stranger, a alternative newspaper out of Seattle, published this article, which also contains the offending cartoon. It is a bit disturbing, but explains the politics of the whole deal better than I could. Fortunately, in this country, nobody in the media ever makes fun of Christianity, so I think I'm safe. However, if they ever did, I think my faith would be strong enough to carry me through.
2. It has been interesting to see protests with large groups of people carrying signs that say "Down with Denmark". While it is nice to see a break from all those "Death to America" signs, I do feel sorry for little Denmark. Its hard to think of a more innocuous country (kudos to their PM for not apologizing to the extremists, by the way). Apparently their country has taken a bit of an economic hit since many Middle Eastern countries have boycotted their products. I guess I didn't realize that Denmark actually had that many products. However, here is a common scene played out at breakfast tables across Saudi Arabia:

Rasheed: "Son, what would you like for breakfast?"
Abu: "Could I have a cheese Danish, papa?"
Rasheed: "No Abu, you will not eat the breakfast pastry of the infidels!"
Abu: "Yes, Papa." (Pulls out book and starts to read.)
Rasheed (furious): "Abu! Is that the works of Hans Christian Andersen?"
Abu (starts to cry): "But Papa, I love Thumbelina."
As Rasheed storms off stage right, Abu bows his head in shame as the curtain closes. End scene.

My Travel Wishlist

2006-02-06T22:30:00.000-06:00

The other day I was looking on the internet for plane tickets for an upcoming trip to Las Vegas. I was also procrastinating, trying to avoid having to clean my bathroom. During all this, I got to thinking about traveling, and the trips planned for this year, and all of the places I would like to someday go. So I made a mental list of places I'd like to see before I'd die, and came up with the forty or so places listed below. This probably isn't an inclusive list; I know I'm leaving something off. I probably won't make it to every place on the list, but God willing I'll make it to most of them. They are arranged semigeographically, for your convenience.

North America
1. Yosemite National Park
2. Mount Rushmore
3. Key West, Florida
4. Alaska (especially Denali, the Dalton Highway north of Fairbanks, and the Alaska Highway in from Western Canada)
5. The Yukon and the Northwest Territories
6. Newfoundland and Nova Scotia (Cape Breton Highlands National Park is supposed to be beautiful)
7. Victoria Island
8. The bottom of the Grand Canyon (also like to raft the Colorado River)
9. Northern Minnesota and upper Michigan (shoreline of Lake Superior is supposed to be spectacular)
10. Martha's Vineyard and Nantucket Island
11. Baja California
12. Zion/Bryce Canyon National Parks in Utah

South America
1. The Panama Canal
2. Rio de Janeiro
3. The Amazon rainforest
4. Buenos Aires
5. Chile (especially the southern part of Patagonia)

Europe
1. Scandinavia
2. Finland
3. Moscow and St. Petersburg, Russia
4. Madrid, Spain
5. Sicily
6. Ireland
7. Scotland
8. Croatia
9. Sardinia
10. The Greek Isles

Africa/The Middle East
1. Morocco
2. South Africa
3. Egypt
4. Israel/Jerusalem
5. Istanbul (not Constantinople)
6. Dubai
7. Any place with a safari
8. Any place with wild monkeys

Asia/The Pacific
1. The Great Wall of China
2. Hawaii
3. Australia
4. New Zealand
5. Nepal (would like to see Everest, don't want to climb it)
6. Antarctica

Things I Loved Before I Even Knew I Loved Them

2006-01-31T21:30:00.000-06:00

For this week's edition of "Things I Loved Before I Even Knew I Loved Them", may I present to you: Satellite Radio.
For many a year now, the most valuable thing in my car has been my cd player. Commercial radio is horrible. Off of the top of my head I can think of two decent radio stations in this entire country. Fortunately, one of them is right here in Nashville, the very wonderful 100.1 WRLT. Good for driving around town, not so good when leaving town. The second equally good station is 107.1 KGSR Radio Austin. However, since I rarely get to Austin anymore it does me no good here.
I've had satellite radio for about a year now. I was originally supposed to subscribe to Sirius, but due to a miscommunication I got XM instead. In hindsight that seems to have a been a good thing. The music on XM seems to be better. Additionally, I'm glad I don't send money to Sirius because they just gave a gazillion dollars to Howard Stern. Now Stern, free of the FCC, can say the f-word as often as he likes. Much has been made of this, but I just don't see a reason to care.
XM has something like 180 channels, maybe 2/3 of them music. I regularly listen to about five of them. All of the music channels are commercial-free. Additionally they have a public radio channel and a BBC channel for when I want to feel more cultured than I really am. There is also a Weather Channel channel, perfect since I am a huge Weather Channel geek (watch it on television late at night; that's when those meteorologists get a little randy).
One of the best things about the satellite so far is the new music I've discovered. Bettye LaVette, Chris Trapper (never heard of him either), and some girl named Meg Berman, or Bernman, or Begman. Something with a B. Or maybe it was Martha. I've googled her and haven't come up with anything. But that song was wonderful. It is a very 21st century way to enjoy music: Discover an artist off of the satellite, search him out on iTunes and purchase the songs off of the internet. Yeah for technology.

A Public Service Announcement

2006-01-23T17:30:00.000-06:00

Question: What do the following four objects have in common?

a. A cap to a can of Lysol
b. A candlestick holder
c. A paper towel holder
d. A light bulb

Answer: They all do not belong up here:

I know that for the vast, vast majority of you this is a no-brainer. However, over the course of time, I've come across an increasing number of people who feel the urge to put objects in places where such objects do not belong.
I know I have a glamorous job, but, contrary to what you might think, I do not really enjoy getting called out of bed in the middle of the night to come to the hospital to help forcibly extract one of these objects from your butthole. So please, if you are planning some expedition involving one of these items or a myriad other small household appliances and/or objects that you feel might actually fit up there, let me say a couple of things to at least dissuade you, or at the very least make your hospital stay a little less awkward.
1. Everyone uses the excuse "I just fell on it in the shower." Seriously, everybody. And no. No you didn't. Nobody believes you. Most of the time it looks like you haven't showered in a long, long, long time. At the very least don't insult our intelligence. At least try to be creative with your excuse making. It might give us all a good laugh, which leads me to my next point:
2. We will make fun of you once you are asleep. If you think about it, it is pretty much inevitable. Jokes will be made at your expense. Lots of them. We will laugh and laugh. You will have a sore butt. Not a good trade-off, is it?

I thought about making a video, starring some second rate television actor like Matt LeBlanc or Shelley Long. They would give their speech, then a shooting star would flash across the screen with some uplifting music and the words: "The more you know..." However, I didn't have the budget. So bottom line people, find something better to do with you time. That hole was not made for incoming deliveries. It is outgoing only. Thanks for your time.

2005

2006-01-14T22:40:00.000-06:00

If you had told me a year ago that 2005 was going to be one of my finest years I probably would have belittled you. 2005 did not start out well, and it wasn't until a much-needed attitude adjustment a couple of months in that things started to pick up, and for some reason just got better and better. When I say 2005 was a fine year, I'm speaking only for my little world. I realize that on the national and global scale many sucky and horrible events occurred. But, within my own little bubble, things were quite fine. Here a short list of reasons why:

1. Katie Kate infiltrated our little circle of friends several months ago, and we got to be good friends over the summer. However, it wasn't until September 11, at a Lyle Lovett concert, that we actually got to spend time alone together. Since I move at the speed of evolution when it comes to dating, our official first date wasn't until October 1 (I really don't want to celebrate anything on 9/11), and things have been fantastic since. You could break out some pancakes and I could get really syrupy here with a long list of things I love about her, but I'll just say that when I'm with her life is better than it is when she isn't around.

2. Family and friends Though the fam's 3 to 4 hours away I always look forward to my trips up there, especially to see the kids, who grow impossibly cuter with each visit. I am also amazed with the circle of friends that I have, one that reaches literally from coast to coast. Having self-diagnosed borderline anti-social disorder (I enjoy solo roadtrips to Colorado and other far-off places), the fact that I have many wonderful close friends is a constant source of astonishment and delight.

3. Travelmania The few loyal readers of this blog would know that one of the things I enjoy most is to travel. I've always been a bit extreme on this front but last year saw trips to Guatemala, Italy, Colorado, Texas, New York City, New England, and California. Much closer to home I discovered beautiful places like Savage Gulf, Foster Falls, and the Virgin Gulf Wilderness. A vacation day at home is a vacation day wasted.

4. Home ownership After many many years of throwing money away to somebody else I now throw it away to a bank. However, technically the place is mine. I've been in the new condo for nearly five months now and haven't regretted a day yet. If only we could do something about the crack houses in the next block, but there is something to be said for convenience.

5. Best concert year ever This one is pretty indisputable. I haven't had the opportunity to see so many good live shows in a single year: Patty Griffin, Coldplay, Guster, Lyle Lovett, Dave Matthews Band, Keane, and U2, plus a couple of Bluebirds and Mercy Lounges. Actually, to cheat a bit, 2006 is getting off to a good start too with Patty Griffin and Emmylou Harris at the Ryman, and Bela Fleck and the Flecktones with the Nashville Symphony (thanks, Kate).

6. Star Wars and King Kong Stay with me on this one. The Star Wars series (the three original good ones) were one of the pop culture cornerstones of my childhood, and any chance to revisit a joy of childhood shouldn't be missed. The fact that Revenge of the Sith tied everything into the original series, and that it didn't blow nearly as much as The Phantom Menace or Attack of the Clones made it even better.
Watching King Kong was a little like seeing the original Star Wars or Raiders of the Lost Ark for the first time as a kid. It is rare for a new movie to evoke an almost childlike since of wonder, but this one did, with scenes that were exhilarating (the brontosaurus stampede), hugely creepy (death by meat-slug), and even heartbreaking (the long, silent shot of Kong's fall off the Empire State Building).

So hooray for 2005. May God bless everyone in 2006.

List of the Week

2005-12-22T17:39:00.000-06:00

Thoughts expressed while driving behind an extremely slow moving car with the bumper sticker: "DEATH PENALTY: WWJD?"

1. Jesus would drive faster.
2. Jesus would have realized three miles ago that His turn signal was still on and would have turned it off.
3. Jesus would realize the stinking light was green and would move.
4. Jesus would get out of the fast lane.
5. Jesus would not get so angry at me for tailgating Him.

That's Fine Astrology

2005-12-14T22:00:00.000-06:00

Finally, a horoscope with some useful information, courtesy of the onion.com:

For me, a Capricorn:
The fear of being buried alive has often consumed your thoughts, but, as you'll soon discover, the alternative is much, much worse.

For Kate & LB, both Sagittarius:
While some questions can only be answered by searching deep within, whatever happened to your spleen and small intestine isn't one of them.

For Adam, a Scorpio:
This week, the stars will grant your heart's deepest desire, causing you confusion when bags of money arrive in place of your long-lost son.

And I wish I could remember someone born in Leo, because its my favorite:
The interesting thing about homicidal rage is - well, the stars don't want to ruin it for you.

New York City: Shoot the Freak

2005-12-03T00:10:00.000-06:00

A few weeks ago, after traveling to Houston for U2 and the Festival of Meat, I journeyed northeast to New York City, where I once lived for about a year and a half about five years back. I stayed with two of my best friends from Harding, Adam and Maria, who have a sweet apartment in a mafia-controlled neighborhood in Brooklyn (great Italian restaurants around there). From their back window you can see the Verazanno Narrows Bridge linking Brooklyn and Staten Island, and from the front you can just glimpse the Statue of Liberty.
As I've said before, New York is my favorite city ever. There are very few American cities that are unique, that have such an individual flavor that you could not mistake it for anywhere else (and yes, while I love Nashville to death, I wouldn't put it on that list). I love NYC's diversity, its energy, its architecture. When I come home from a visit to NYC and get asked what I did while I was there, there are inevitable looks of disappointment with my answer. I don't really do anything touristy up there. I mainly enjoy walking around and exploring the streets of Manhattan. I discover so many new things each time. On every block there's a new restaurant/bar/store to try or explore, something that gets put on a list in the back of my head that probably will never be fulfilled.
I love the freakiness of the East Village. I love wandering through Washington Square, and am always secretly disappointed if I'm not at least once asked if I want to buy illegal substances. I'll usually wander through the maze of the West Village, the only part of Manhattan Island not on a grid system, then over toward Union Square and The Strand. Uptown, Central Park is probably my favorite place in the city. It is such a beautiful oasis of green after the grime and gray (and odors) of the rest of the city. I'll start on the east side at the Metropolitan Museum of Art and meander southwest to Columbus Circle. From there it is on down Broadway to Times Square, a crush of neon and people that unfortunately becomes more homogenized with each visit (Applebee's? You come to NYC to eat at Applebee's?).

Anyway, on a Saturday, it was unseasonably warm and sunny for November so Adam, Maria, their two obscenely cute children Manassah Grace and Jasper (ages 2 and 3-4 months respectively), and I decided to head over to Coney Island for the day. We spent the morning at the New York Aquarium (fantastic aquarium, by the way), had Nathan's Famous Hot Dogs for lunch, and strolled the boardwalk. Even though it was very springlike (thanks global warming!), since it was still November most of the attractions and amusements were shut down for the winter. However, one of the only games open on the boardwalk that day was Shoot the Freak.
This a picture of Shoot the Freak. The basic concept of shooting the freak is you get a high-powered rifle filled with paintballs. In front of you, in a debris-strewn lot, stands a man dressed in padded clothing and wearing a faceshield. He is the freak, whom you get to shoot. No skill involved.
A carny guy with a thick Brooklyn accent stands at the front with a megaphone enticing passersby:
"Come on up and shoot the freak! He's defenseless, you have a gun! What could be more fun than that?!"
I listened to the carny guy while behind me the kids played on the syringe and glass-shard strewn beach. About this time a couple with about a ten year old boy walked by:
"Hey dad! Let your kid come and shoot the freak! I'll give him a gun and he can shoot the freak in the face, what could be more American than that?"
Of course with a sales pitch like that, the father couldn't refuse, so he forked over the money (five dollars for fifteen shots if I remember correctly), and the boy shouldered the rifle. I walked over to watch, curious to see what the Freak would do. I guess I expected the Freak to make a game out of it, to run around, or at least hide behind some trash. However he just stood there in clear sight and let the kid shoot him at about a ten foot range. Maybe he felt he had to give the kid a clean shot.
"Fantastic, kid! What a great shot, you got him right in the head!"
The kid smiled and put down the gun. The dad, looking a bit embarrassed, took him by the shoulder and walked away. I wasn't sure what to think. The carny turned his attention to a group of about three teenage girls:
"Come on girls and shoot the freak! You're armed, he's defenseless. Its all-American!"

A short time later the kids were tired so it was time to head home. As I mentioned a little earlier, M.G. and Jasper are obscenely cute kids, and, after much begging and pleading from their parents, I took some pictures of them to post to prove that fact. Unfortunately, the next morning we walked a couple of blocks over to watch the NYC marathoners run by, and I used the rest of my film on them. The pictures of the children are still in my camera, as yet undeveloped. But rest assured, they are coming. Someday.

I Had a Dream...

2005-12-01T17:40:00.000-06:00

I had an awesome dream. Not awesome, in that Lionel Richie way, but very vivid. I remember dreams, but rarely in this much detail. So here goes:

I was at a Coldplay concert with my friend JV. They had just performed their final song, "Fix You", just like in real life. We then went next door to some large banquet hall with a stage at the end. There were refreshments on a table, and as I reached for some I was informed that I had to leave because this was a private function. At that moment, JV left my side and went up on stage went several other people and started doing some sort of interpretative dance about burros.
Segue to me sitting at home watching a television documentary about burros. According to this nature program, burros have an extremely difficult time crossing both streets and bodies of water, like creeks and streams. It can take them hours. It showed a video of a burro having an awful time trying to get across a highway. Once across, the burro will lose its front two teeth, which it then will stomp into the ground, marking the spot of the crossing and serving as a signal for any future burro that might come that way.
As I watched television, I noticed that my home was in some old apartment building with rusty, molded, paint-peeled walls. I made a mental note to repaint. Also, out of my peripheral vision, I thought I saw someone in the kitchen. I knew I was alone so that couldn't be true, but the third time I caught movement I went in to investigate.
I went into the kitchen (which in hindsight reminds me of the kitchen in my NYC apartment) and noticed for the first time a huge iron door just beyond the refrigerator that had never been there before. This door was slightly ajar, and beyond was a dark, ominous-looking hallway. Just as I was headed out into the hall to explore I saw a shadow of a man pointing a gun in my direction. This freaked me out enough to wake myself up.

Discuss.

The Week in Review

2005-11-19T10:15:00.000-06:00

Note to a loyal reader: Yes, a post on a recent trip to your town is coming. You have not been forgotten. How could I? It is already in my edit folder, but it requires pictures. Pictures take awhile when you don't have a digital camera, and even longer when the photo lab loses your film.

Random highlights/observations from the past week:

1. Fondue. Sounds gay, tastes delicious. Never been to the Melting Pot before last Thursday night. It was a fantastic evening. It was like a miniature Festival of Meat, except you dip your meat (and other foods) in melty goodness. Again, sounds gay (the last sentence, a bit disturbing), but again, tastes delicious. Points off from the manager, though, who (very) awkwardly tried to shush our party for being too loud. Bad form. Happy birthday, LB.
2. Obesity. Not the best segue from all the food observations, however I noticed this past week that it is a good day when my patients weigh less than 200 pounds. Ugly airways, diabetes, heart disease; there is a long list of bad things that go along with being fat. Smoking is a horrible public health problem; obesity is much worse. For the love people, exercise. It isn't that hard.
3. Walk the Line We went to see this movie on Friday night at the Franklin Cinema, and it was fantastic. Great performances by Joaquin Phoenix and (especially) Reese Witherspoon. We especially enjoyed the ongoing audio commentary from the folks sitting behind us. We concluded that it was their one night a year to come to the big city, perhaps to eat at Golden Corral, and then catch a flick. They were wonderful. However, perhaps part of the blame might lie with us for choosing a theater that serves alcohol.
4. Nickel Creek For some reason I'm just getting around to their music, and I'm sad it hadn't happened before. Their first disc is traditional bluegrass, but they get more experimental over the following two. The last one, Why Should the Fire Die?, is my favorite. Its a great breakup record. Its too bad I'm not wanting to breakup with anyone.
5. King Kong I saw this preview the other day, but I can't find anyone else excited to see this movie. There is a short list of film directors who get a free pass, meaning I enjoy their body of work enough that whatever film they choose to put out next I'll go and see, no questions asked. A few of those directors include Spielberg (can't wait to see Munich next month), Scorsese (The Departed, 2006), M. Night Shyamalan (Lady in the Water: An apartment super finds a sea nymph living in the building's swimming pool. Really.), and Peter Jackson.
Peter Jackson's last film was Return of the King. It won lots of Oscars, and is one of my favorite movies of all time. So he gets a free pass. It helps that King Kong is the movie he's wanted to make since he was a child, so he's emotionally invested. However, his next film could have been The Care Bears Meet the Seasonal Affective Disorder Prairie Dogs and I would be there on opening day. He would find a way to make it good. That's why he gets the free pass.

Houston: U2 and the Festival of Meat

2005-11-10T20:30:00.000-06:00

So last week I was on vacation, on my Tour of Places I Once Lived. First stop in said tour was to Houston, where I spent two and a half years in graduate school. While I don't miss Houston as a city (big and hot and dirty), I have several close friends there that I was looking forward to hanging out with.
There was another reason for the trip, too. Friday night I finally got to see U2 in concert for the first time with my friends Andy and Brant. I'm really no longer a fan of big arena concerts. There are several reasons for this. One, I'm getting old. Secondly, the smaller the venue the more intimate the music, and third, most of the musicians I like will never be popular enough to play in big arenas like this. This concert was a huge, huge exception. My first thought at the end of the concert: Why have I never seen U2 before? My second thought: I will never miss a U2 tour again. They were phenomenal. They played music off of every record except for the unfortunate Pop and Zooropa discs. Pride, With Or Without You, and Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own were all transcendental. I've rarely seen musicians as appreciative of the audience as Bono and the band were, and it showed through their music. We were stage left and up about fifty stories above the stage, but they still had the ability to draw everybody into the show. Even the drunk teenage lesbian hookers who sat in front of us, but that's a different story.
Saturday night I partook in my favorite Houston tradition, which I will refer to as the Festival of Meat. Andy, Jeff, Mia, and myself went to one of my favorite restaurants, Fogo De Chao, which loosely translates into Feast, you Gluttonous Carnivore. Fogo is a Brazilian steakhouse, or a churrascaria, if you will. There is no menu. You sit at your table. There is a fancy salad bar that you must ignore, for it would only take up valuable stomach space. A small card is placed in front of you. On one side, it is red; the other, green. You take several deep cleansing breaths, and turn to the card to green.
Almost immediately, like some wonderful meat fairy, waiters, dressed in bright gaucho outfits (gaucho roughly translates to gay cowboy), swoop out of the air with skewers of meat. A cornucopia of meat. Garlic sirloin, filet mignon, top sirloin, beef ribs, leg of lamb, pork ribs, parmesan-encrusted pork, various other animals. It goes on this way until you flip the little card back to red. Once your plate is cleared you can flip back to green and the fairies swoop in again. Basically you eat until animal fat oozes from your pores. Complete and utter yumsters.
One unfortunate side effect of the Festival of Meat (especially when combined with the huge portion of beef fajitas consumed before the U2 concert the night before), was a complete work stoppage in my colon. The whole system went down, and it took a few days for it to come back online. Thought I should share the bad along with the good.

ps. I wanted to give a public shout-out to my friend Andy, who, a few days after the Festival of Meat learned he passed the Bar Exam. Congratulations! He can now officially usurp Mr. Adler to become the next Texas Hammer, at least among Houston's Korean population.

Savage Gulf, Fall Creek Falls, and Icy-Hot

2005-10-25T21:45:00.000-05:00

I really should post something, since it has been awhile, but there's no big news or story to share. Life is really good right now. Scary good. I say scary good because deep down I'm cynical enough to believe the possibility that if life is this good, something horrific must be right around the corner. Since life is so good at the moment, it must be something biblical, like locust or boils. Neither of those sound like fun.
Anyway, there's no overarching theme to this post. I really enjoyed posting the Colorado pics a few weeks back so I thought I'd put up a few more local ones:
A couple of weeks ago on a post-call day (the best days ever, by the way) I went out to Savage Gulf and spent the afternoon hiking. Savage Gulf is a wilderness area about an hour and a half southeast of town. It is formed by a couple of creeks and rivers flowing off of the Cumberland Plateau and eroding deep canyons (or gulfs, according to the locals). I hiked about eight miles around the rim. It was easy hiking since staying on the rim meant the terrain was relatively flat. You could also hike into the gorge, but hiking nearly 1000 feet in meant having to hike nearly 1000 feet back up, which would have made me sad.
The pic on the right is looking off the rim at the Stone Door entrance into the wilderness below.
On the left is Savage Creek going over the originally named Savage Falls. Since it had been very dry, the waterfall was actually very unsavage.
Finally, last Saturday Kate and I went up to Fall Creek Falls for the afternoon. The picture below is courtesy of her, since her picture turned out better than mine. Supposedly, at 260 feet, that's the tallest waterfall east of the Rocky Mountains, though I've been to a waterfall in North Carolina that made the same claim. If you look closely you can see people cavorting at the base of the falls.
It was a beautiful afternoon. The weather was cool, and the leaves were changing. The only problem was that I had woken up that morning with a sore neck, which I assumed was from just sleeping wrong. However, as the day progressed I started having neck spasms. It was similar to having someone stab you in the shoulder with a blunt screwdriver at random intervals. Fortunately, the next day was a little better, and by Monday I was basically cured. Thanks to Kate for driving and putting up with my whiny spasmness. Thanks to Icy-Hot and Tylenol PM for helping me sleep. By the way, everyone should go out and get an Icy-Hot patch and try it, even if you aren't sore at all. Its wonderful. When you snap the patch to activate the iciness, you just know life is about to be better. Next summer when I go running I'm going to wear one on my forehead just to cool off. Except you have to time it right and rip it off before it goes from icy to hot. Ripping it off hurts, by the way. That's Icy-Hot's one flaw: It is overly sticky. Removing it also removes the top layer of skin.

Another reason I felt I should post is that come Friday I'm off on vacation and will be away for awhile. Its my own personal tour of Places I Once Lived. On Friday its off to Houston for the weekend to visit friends and see some band called U2 in concert on Friday night. A few days later its off to that most fantabulous of cities, New York, for more friends and fun, and perhaps video-racing, which I of course will dominate, in much the same way as every country at one time or another dominates France. In between the two will be a couple of days in glorious New England, specifically the White Mountains of New Hampshire.
Be back in a week or two.

Me and Betty Jo

2005-10-10T21:30:00.000-05:00

I got to meet Betty Jo several weeks ago while I was on call. Sometime in the past Betty Jo had a bit of an accident. She either fell and hit her head, or she was hit in the head, or something; I never really found out. However, unfortunately for her, she developed what is called a subdural hematoma. This is basically bleeding inside your skull, which builds up pressure in the brain and causes headaches, then seizures, then possibly death.
Fortunately for Betty Jo, she went to a hospital. She then had an operation where a hole was drilled into her skull and then the blood clot was sucked out. Betty Jo recovered nicely, went home, and felt better, at least for a while.
Then the headaches came back. Nothing that Betty Jo did made the headaches any better. I assume that Betty Jo considered going back to the hospital, but never got a chance to ask her. What I do know, however, is that Betty Jo got herself a wonderful idea.
It is here that I must interject a few facts about Betty Jo. Betty Jo drinks a little bit, anywhere from a dozen to two dozen cans of beer a day. She also smokes a bit of pot. Oh yes, she also seems to have a small problem with crack cocaine. Perhaps this combination of recreational drug use affected her decision-making ability. Again, I didn't get a chance to ask.
A day or two before I met her, Betty Jo got to thinking back about the last time she had such awful headaches, and how she had a little operation, and how that cleared those headaches right up. That was when Betty Jo had this wonderful idea.
Betty Jo, apparently, went to the kitchen, grabbed herself a knife (butter? steak?) and preceded to bore into her own head in an attempt to cure herself from the headaches. I guess that it seemed like a good idea at the time. Maybe, when the surgeon was explaining the previous surgery, he made it sound like a simple task. Amazingly, this attempt did not succeed.
That's how I got to spend some time with her. I say I never got the chance to ask her any questions because by the time I saw her she was having seizures from either the alcohol withdrawal, the raging infection in her head (seems as though she didn't disinfect that knife), or from any new bleeding she might have caused. She was very far from coherent. We fixed Betty Jo up the best we could, however neurologically she was in much the same condition than when we found her.
I don't know what became of Betty Jo, or if she even survived. I don't know how anyone could think I'll bore into my skull with this knife! could ever be a good decision, no matter how drunk/stoned/coked-up you might be. I don't know what kind of desperation might lead to the consumption of 24 beers a day, much less the other drugs. I can't begin to imagine what her home life was like.
I'd like to think that if Betty Jo recovered she realized that something had to change. Maybe there was a reawakening. Maybe she recognized she got a second chance and made good on it. I'd also like to think that maybe I could be a bit more compassionate towards people like Betty Jo. Nobody in that room, including me, saw her as much more than an annoyance, an interruption to an afternoon where we could all be doing something better with our time. We did our job well, and we saw her safely through. The compassion wasn't there, though. It wasn't there when I told this story to friends. It wasn't there when I typed the first few paragraphs of this post. It isn't here now, really, except that the more I think about Betty Jo the less funny the story is and the more sad it becomes. I guess she deserved better, after all. She sure didn't give it to herself. I don't guess I gave it to her, either.

Rocky Mountain Roadtrip

2005-09-28T21:50:00.000-05:00

This is Rocky Mountain National Park, where I took my roadtrip a few weeks ago. The upside to taking a roadtrip to a place like this can be seen by looking at the picture: Awe-inspiring beauty. The downside to taking a roadtrip to a place like this is that in between here and there lay west Tennessee, Arkansas, and Oklahoma, or hundreds of miles where the phrase "awe-inspiring beauty" rarely applies.
So I left on a Friday, which was marathon driving day. I stopped only twice: Once for lunch and gas at Little Rock, and again for dinner and gas somewhere in far west Oklahoma. Once past Oklahoma City you're into the Great Plains, which in its own way is kind of beautiful. One of my best friends grew up in far western Texas, and when he came to visit Nashville he couldn't get over how many trees there were here. I kind of have the opposite reaction out west - so much open space; a limitless horizon. I made it as far as Amarillo, Texas, where the high plains meets the desert, to spend the night.
On Saturday I drove a few more hours northwest across the high desert of New Mexico and into Colorado, arriving in Denver around lunchtime. When I was looking for jobs at the end of graduate school, Denver was my number one choice; Nashville, number two. However, the job market was much better in Music City so I came here. Part of me still wonders what life would be like if choice #1 had come through. Most of me is happy it turned out the way it did.
Sunday morning was spent at Boulder Valley Church of Christ. They had a wonderful outdoor service that morning, on the lawn facing across the valley to the Front Range. I then spent a couple of hours walking around downtown Boulder before heading up into the mountains.
Up the canyon from Boulder, barely ten miles out of town, you get to Boulder Falls (picture on the left), which is just off of the highway. After a short break here I wound my way over the Front Range and ended up at the south entrance to Rocky Mountain National Park at a little village called Grand Lake.

Right outside of Grand Lake I spent Sunday night in a resort which has several "rustic" cabins spread throughout the woods. Rustic means no television or telephone. They do have electricity and running water. Those are my limits of rusticity. Also throughout the woods were signs warning of attacks by mountain lions and bears. To my disappointment, I saw neither. My wildlife sightings would be limited to elk and mountain goats. The picture below is a view of the village of Grand Lake from the cabin property. Not much to do here at night except sit out on the front porch and read, which I did until it got too cold outside.

The next couple of days were spent exploring inside the park. There is one main highway across the park called the Trail Ridge Road. There is also an old dirt road, originally built back in the 1920s, that winds it way up to meet with the main highway near Fall River Pass, which sits at an elevation of about 11,800 feet. I never hiked too far off of the roads. For one, I'm not big on backcountry hiking alone, and second my sea-level lungs do not at all enjoy hiking at 10,000 feet elevations. Anyway, what follows are some pictures that I took along the way.

This is at the western edge of the park, looking west just after sunset. Though it probably doesn't show up here, I really liked the way the lighting turned out. By the way, I took the picture standing on a bridge over the Colorado River, a few miles from its headwaters. Here the river is about as wide as Otter Creek just below Radnor Lake.

To the right is the Trail Ridge Road near its highest elevation of 12,183 feet. The road spends a lot of time above treeline, and on the northern exposures there was still some snow. I also saw, as mentioned earlier, elk and mountain goats, but unfortunately no bears or lions or other dangerous creatures.

On the left is the climb up the Old Fall River Road. Nine miles long, it is unpaved and consists mostly of the switchbacks you see here. Beautiful scenery, however.

There on the right is Alberta Falls, the largest waterfall I saw on my journey. It is formed by water from a melting glacier higher up the mountain. This was part of my longest hike on the trip. At the end of it I think I knew what it feels like to have emphysema.

Finally, the first of the Colorado pictures were on a roll that had sat in my camera forever, and turned out to have a few forgotten Italy pictures. Happy times. So this last picture is nowhere near Colorado but is of Como, in the Alps in the northern part of the country.

P.S. Did not realize until this second that you could click on the pictures and get a larger version. Go Blogger!